Death and Kids...

A sad thing happened this week. Elijiahs friends mom passed away unexpectedly monday. The thing is, since Elijiah started at the Y, he and Katie have been fast friends. Gone to birthday parties, play dates, b-bques at each others houses....I knew this mother in passing sure, but when your kids are friends you try and get to know eachother a bit as well. I have to admit over the last 6 months I havent seen much of her and didnt think twice. Well she died on Monday and no one knows why yet. Strange on Monday night, I took Elijiah for a walk so I could get come excercise and he asked what would happen if I died. I tried to say things that a 5 yr old would understand- that I would be in Heaven with Heavenly Father and I would always love him even if I wasnt here on earth, that I would keep watch over him, he could still talk to me, that I would be his angel. This seemed to work okay for him. Then the next day at school we all were notified that Allison had passed away. So it then became a real topic of conversation amoung the kids. See I dont know why this has affected me so. She and I werent best friends or even that close of friends- just two parents of kids that played together. But to be a mother and think about leaving your children with no warning, no chance to say goodbye, no ability to put together a video, scrap book, letters-say all the things you want to and know that loosing you will define them forever is so heartbreaking to me. Jonathan said he would attend the funeral with me and Im so grateful. I feel like one of the only things I can do for Katies dad now is to pay my respects. I told Elijiah to give Katie and Katies little brother Colby, big hugs. They going to need them.

Pregnant Bellies

Why do people stare at pregnant womens bellies? I suppose its the same with men and breasts...why is it that they are so facinated? I dont get it.

Nor do I get the comments that come out of peoples mouths about a pregnant belly. Word of advice- dont say to any pregnant person " WOW you look like your going to pop! How much longer?" or any other type of similar comment. I may look like a whale, but I bet I can still kick your ass if I wanted...

Weekend Warriors

It seems that the weekends we dont have Elijiah there are lots of things we do to stay busy. This past weekend was no exception. Saturday we were up and going early after cleaning the house friday night. We took a trip to the Library for some new books, stopped by my friend Pati's to borrow a glider for the baby's room, headed to Home Depot, the craft store( actually two craft stores ) took in a movie, and headed home for Jonathan to make me dinner! Sunday my Mom and Layne returned from a week in Hawaii and we went to my cousin Niks mission homecoming. It was very nice. Tons and I mean tons of family and friends came and it was a madhouse, but good as usual to see everyone. The rest of our sunday was lazy and boy did the weekend go fast!

The movie we saw on Saturday was Juno. I heard from others that it was a great movie and one worth seeing. Jonathan wasnt too excited about it, but as usual was a good sport. I think he was pleasantly surprised. Its about a young teenager who gets pregnant, and how she places her child up for adoption. The writing was witty, funny, very charming, and I loved the characters( the prospective adoptive father wasnt all that likable however) anyway I loved the film. I have to admit there was a part where I did cry. Juno was in the hospital room having given birth and tears where running down her face. Her Dad made a comment that she will be back here again someday but in the right circumstances. This just made my heart ache. There is nothing more painful than knowing you are doing the right thing but feeling so empty.

On another note, Jonathan and I worked on a fun project for the baby over the weekend. The nursery is coming along and its exciting to see things come together. We took some pictures and Ill post them shortly as I think things turned out pretty well.

Sleep? What sleep?

I know Im incredibly lucky right now to not have a newborn. One would think that I would be getting enough sleep- not tons in my last month of pregnancy but enough. Well not so. The other night after several previous nights of not getting enough sleep I took half a unisom. What occurred was a wonderful sleep filled night...however the next day I was a bit groggy, disoriented, and couldnt stay awake. Sunday night was okay, I slept a few hours - and that was good. Being the Holiday on Monday I agreed to watch my niece as I was told my sister and brother in law had to work...it was a long day. I had to keep the house spotless as someone was coming by to see it, and entertain two 5 year olds-- not the best combination. I did end up leaving the house for the most part to eliminate mess making at home. Between some errands, lunch at Mcdonals, and a movie it worked out well. I was so tired from my day though that 9pm came and I hit the sheets. I cant even recall falling asleep or staying asleep for long. I saw the clock hit every hour during the night, was up 5 times to pee, was awake when the baby was kicking my pelvis bone and ribs for over 2 hours on and off, and finally somewhere around 5am I must have dozed because when the alarm went off at 6am, I remember some part of a dream I was having.
I am to say the least tired. This is me being tired:
Grumpy
Has a headache to go along with it
Grumpy--did I say grumpy?


**********

I fired off an email to my ex and his girlfriend about an issue that I am sure will not go over well. It has to do with Elijiah and gift giving. Where Elijiah was once a grateful child, with the increasing gifts from each side of the family, his appreciation for what he does get is diminishing. I asked that they be more careful in gift selection and amount spent. We will see if I get a response....stay tuned.

******
I got a response - typical. His MO? Ignore me for as long as possible( or the situation, issue etc) Mine- Over react due to being ignored.
Any wonder why our two communication styles didnt produce a lasting marriage??? GRRRR no one can push my buttons like he can.

Makes me all the more grateful for a hubby that will communicate with me regardless of how difficult the subject matter. At least we talk things out before they become huge issues..

Happy Valentines!

(rare that I will stand in front of the camara these days- Jonathan caught me- me prego 34 weeks)

See the flowers that Jonathan got me?- I love them!

Yesterdays storm was pretty amazing. I took valentines day off so I could spend it going to Elijiahs field trip at school and run errands for V-Day. However this mornings commute made it so his school cancelled the trip and I had the morning to do what I wished. SO- I did lots of cookie making, carrot cake baking, and a bit of prep for dinner which I had planned for Jonathan. Now Valentines is a cheesy day in my mind, but any excuse to do something nice is okay in my book. I also looked at it as a day that I could do something special for Jonathan, as our one year anniversary is just days after this baby is to be born. I got Jonathan some hiking/working out clothes and made an effort to do some decorating. Jonathan surprised me by bringing home a beautiful arrangement of flowers and we enjoyed a wonderful meal (if I say so myself) just the two of us.
Happy Valentines Day everyone....

Weekend News

Friday night started out with a bang. Jonathans parents bought tickets for us to attend Riverdance with them and what a treat. Not only was it a wonderful show but great company. We had dinner at trio before hand and it was good to see them and hang out for a bit before the performance.


Saturday was a lot of fun...while it was Khorys weekend with Elijiah I got to spend a few hours with him. Ive enrolled him in swimming lessons and he is doing a great job. I cant say that the lessons are all that productive..there are a few too many kids in the class in my opinion and they spend more time waiting then actually learning anything. I suppose anything is better than nothing tho right?? In the end Im sure that I could teach Elijiah to swim I just need to take the time..


The rest of the weekend was very productive and relaxing...saturday was full of errands and stuff but sunday was the lazy day...movie watching, church, cookie dough making--the kind of day that all sundays should be.

Tagged !

I got an email from my friend and was tagged to talk about my fabulous husband! So, here it goes.

What is his name?
Jonathan Elias Bechtold
How long have you been married?
1 year March 31st- yes honey I remember....
How long did you date?
To our future kids you are NOT allowed to marry someone you have known less than a year if you are younger than 30---if you are over 30 then do whatever...
We dated for 6 weeks, then got married 6 weeks later....
How old is he?
31
Who eats more?
Me hands down...but is that because I am prego? Otherwise I hope he does!
Who said I love you first?
Crap- I think he did...it was a hazy 6 weeks for me. Honey? I mean I remember the jist of the first time, I just dont know who said the words first.
Who is smarter?
What kind of question is this? Really! Ok, Jonathan is by far smarter in many ways, and I would say Im smarter in other ways. Meaning- he is musically talented and can pick stuff up fast. Technology is something he loves while I cant even figure out my cell phone. I think I have more street sense- quick to think on the fly, while he is more careful in his conversations and decisions. I dont know - we both got good grades does that answer the question????!!!
Whose temper is worse?
Depends on the situation. I have endless patience for kids( ok my kid), but with adults very little. But ive seen Jonathan loose it a few times- he just isnt a yeller..so I guess we both can have quick tempers just what sets it off is different.
Who does the laundry?
I do for the most part. I get help when I ask.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
Facing the bed, Jonathan sleeps on the right.
Who pays the bills?
We both do
Who cooks dinner?
I have to say I do for the most part..we have established a budget for food and meal planning that usually involves me going through cook books and deciding what to make. But he is great in the kitchen and an awesome chef when he does cook.
Who drives when you are together?
Him.
Who is more stubborn?
I would say me...
Who proposed?
Jonathan did...a great night...:)He took me to a wonderful Italian restaurant, then drove to our first date spot, provided some nice commentary( sorry folks that stuff is private) pulled out the ring, I said yes.
Who has more friends?
Probably me
Who has more siblings?
Me
Who wears the pants in the family?
we both do- each of us are the rulers over our specific areas :)
Where did you meet your husband?
online- ldslinkup
What was the first thing said?
Well it was me emailing him with no intention of hearing back- I was just getting out of a relationship and my profile wasnt posted- but I ran across his profile and he mentioned something in his post about his divorce- I felt I shoud send him a shout out of well wishes- I told him that I was sorry about what had happened and I wished him well( I dont remember exactly. I didnt save our first email- thinking nothing of it and not giving it a second thought to hearing back)But what do you know- he changed his title on his profile to indicate he was intersted in talking to me( since my profile wasnt up he couldnt respond back to me email) so when I checked back on his profile a little while later, I noticed the change and emailed him again- that got us "talking"
What was your first date?
Lunch at the Avenue Bakery
First kiss?
3rd date? I think...when you only date for 6 weeks before getting engaged that first week is a bit of a blur...
Where did you get married?
My parents friends home- perfect day.
How did the reception go?
Perfectly- everything turned out exactly the way I wanted..
Where did you go on your honeymoon?
Mexico- best trip.
Do you have a song?
You becha- we danced to it at our wedding. Alexi Murdoch---- to those that havent heard him- go get his CD.

So now I want to tag a few of you! To my friends reading - TAG your turn!( I will be reading your blogs to see if you do this!hehe)

first failure

At church on Sunday Elijiah was very excited to tell me about a primary task they had been assigned for the following week. To bring a picture and story about how they were named...so I recalled the story to Elijiah about how his dad and I picked his name, however I reminded him that he would be with his dad over that next weekend and he wouldnt be able to go to primary. He said that he really wanted to, and so I told him he should ask his dad if he could attend primary sunday. Elijiah got quiet and said that I needed to ask. So I said I would. But I also told Elijiah that if these things are important to him that he also needed to talk to his Dad about them. Well yesterday Khory called to speak to Elijiah for his usual nightly call, and Elijiah whispered to me that he wanted me to ask if he could go to church for his primary activity. I told Khory why Elijiah wanted to go, and if it could be arranged for him to attend for 2 hours on his weekend. Khory didnt agree to letting Elijiah go. Now granted I understand that when its my time with Elijiah I dont want to have my weekend disturbed if you will, but on the other hand, it seems a bit sad. To have Elijiah want to do something with regards to church( which is hard enough as he thinks church lasts ALL day and doesnt really like going to begin with) but to have him want to do something and Khory say no...well what can I do? Needless to say Im sure its just the first in a long line of Church activities that will be a stuggle to have Khory give up his time to let Elijiah attend.

On a happy note, Elijiah and I had a rough weekend, but Monday night it was great. We made dinner together, and spent some good time hanging out and talking. He said to me that I was the greatest mother in the world-no the whole UNIVERSE! WOW! I know being a mom is hard, but its those little things that they say that makes all the bad times fade from memory. After he said that I told him how happy that made me feel, and that I felt that way about my Mom, his grandma. He then said" What made her so great? Did she play swords with you too?!" :) My Elijiah ----such a funny guy.

My fabulous Husband

Jonathan has been incredibly busy this week. Between some new work hours, school and life we havent seen eachother much. Yesterday was a tough day for me after feeling so bad about this pregnancy and getting very little sleep. Well last night I had the same problem...I couldnt sleep- period. Or I should say fall asleep easily...so It can take hours for me to get comfy and drift off. Jonathan was as usual incredibly kind. He massaged my hands, and legs...gave me a back rub...still I couldnt sleep...finally at 11:15pm I got up to take a hot bath hoping it would calm me down. He came in and rubbed my shoulders asked what he could do for me...
I did fall asleep fairly soon after going to bed again...I slept for a good 6 hours. I just want to tell Jonathan, that I know Im grumpy and having a hard time, but thanks for being so patient with me. Being willing to do more for me than Im sure you want to at times. :) XOXO

Relief Society fireside

Last night I was invited by my good friend Pati to a stake relief society event. Sister Sheri Dew was speaking- as the first NON married women to be called to the general relief society presidency from 1997-2002 she stood out for me as a woman I was interested in even years ago. While I dont always agree with chruch policy or stance on every issue, Sheri is amazing. It was incredible to hear her and Sister Nelson speak. They discussed our President Hinckley a bit, the role of women, and to be honest it was truely touching...for the first time in a long time when discussing the role of a latter day women in the church today I wasnt offended. Sister Sheri Dew was specific in talking about when Women of history, or of countries today are nuetralized--- its interesting to see the breakdown of not only government but of society. That our place is to strengthen our communities, nations and homes. I feel so strongly about this myself. Especially now being divorced and having little "control" over what happens in Khorys home. I want to go above and beyond teaching Elijiah correct principals and gospel teachings. I want to learn more, be a better teacher for my children and inspire them to live closer to God. She said a very profound thing-- that today we only know so much about the gospel to make us feel guilty- but not enough to make us feel joy. How true this has been for me. I felt incredibly uplifted by her message of hope, how I can better be preparing not only myself but my family and how I must not stop growing personally. I may not be ready to jump aboard the whole thing yet...and only Jonathan knows these types of details, but I am wanting to be better. Just a little bit everyday...to stand a little taller as President Hinckely says, and I know the rest will follow.