As I posted the other day about the FEW things that I liked about Utah I started to think about that statement. When I first moved here in January 1996 with my great friend Mariann, I said and I have maintained since then, that I HATED Utah. Oh I was questioned many times about that statement, asked to defend it which I could with the joys of California living. Over the years many of the things I once listed off about my dislike of Utah has changed…no good restaurants, shopping, nightlife, conservative views from locals… With The Gateway Mall many stores have come to Salt Lake, I remember when Pottery Barn, and Restoration Hardware came to Utah and now we have an Ikea….anyway the restaurants have improved and to be honest nightlife is such a rarity I don’t care much about that anymore. The religious overtones and conservative values will never go away--so when I realized that a lot of what I disliked about Utah when I was 20 isnt an issue anymore, I thought WHY do I STILL not want to live here? After all, Im here now forever, our families are here, most of my siblings, I’ve been in Utah now for close to 14 years pretty soon that number will outweigh my California living and here is what I came up with:
TRAFFIC- now don’t get me wrong Utah traffic isn’t anything to compared to California. But what is different now is the construction.
CONSTRUCTION- every road, every day, year round.
With the construction- DETOURS- my route to work has been altered 3x in the last 6 months due to construction and its wearing very thin, when my normal 10 minute commute to work has increased to 30-45 minutes depending on the day with two children in the car with me is hellish.
POLLUTION – Im from Northern California- an hour outside of Lake Tahoe, in the foothills…pollution was a non issue. I went to the “City” Sacramento or San Fran a lot but being on the coast you don’t get a lot of pollution there either. So when I look out my window and see the hovering yellow haze for days, weeks on end year round…notice a significant increase in the amount of headaches when this occurs, wake up with a sore throat, my kids are coughing, and wheezing- one has to wonder. I just read a report on lung cancer increasing in the Salt Lake Valley with Non smokers and the thought is our pollution is contributing…GREAT!!!!
CONSERVATIVE THINKERS- okay do I dare say it????? The pervasive Mormon culture. I personally don’t know how its possible with the huge amount of out of state influx, and outside Utah population, but I have to say one thing. Utah County SCARES me( lived there for a year so I can attest ) the stories you hear about neighbors not talking to non members, not letting their kids play with another kid that isn’t Mormon, and on and on….DOES HAPPEN( EVERYWHERE in Utah). Oh “they” say it doesn’t, but it does. And it’s really hard when I live this religion – totally believe in it, and come across the most narrow minded, bubble living, extremists…I want to throttle them and tell them to leave Utah even for a weekend to experience what tolerance, acceptance and “loving your neighbor” really means.
HOUSING-finding affordable housing where I want to live- NO I don’t want to live on the west side, south end of the valley, or 40 minutes north or south of Salt Lake. I work downtown, love downtown, love the diversity, community events, cool shops etc. I want to find a house bigger than the brick bungalows that we live in currently and not have to commute. That is the whole reason I don’t want to move anywhere else, but now feel like I have to enter Suburbia. To live in a house that will accommodate a growing family that has closet space. No I don’t need the 3 car garage or the 6 bedrooms. But a house that is larger than 918 Sq feet with a matching basement with two small bedrooms up and two small bedrooms down, with more than one bathroom that we can use would be great.
“CLOSED SUNDAY”- I understand why things are closed on Sunday I do…but man its nice when you have a crazy Saturday and need to get stuff done on Sunday to have the option.
WEATHER- I don’t like the seasons. The winters are too long, and very cold. Summers are blistering. I know this is all relative to where you live, but where is spring and fall anymore?? It seems more often than not our winters linger way past the time they are welcome, spring is a few days during the week where I cant get out anyway to enjoy then we are blasted with 90+ to 100+ days for two months where my lawn dies no matter that I am spending 300$ a month in my water bills to keep it alive, then fall comes with weekends to pick up all the leaves, and the snow comes again with long dark days. Im sorry but Id much rather have a more temperate climate to enjoy some of the things I DO LOVE ABOUT UTAH……:
MOUTAINS! Oh how I love to snow ski, to hike, to camp, to play. Brings goodness to my soul to have them so close and enjoy these activities.
MY FAMILY! Where would I be with out you all? I love that my kids will grow up with cousins around, and that they will know their grandparents…priceless.
TEMPLES/CHURCH! It is pretty cool that so many Temples are here- going to conference and having resources to readily available to us…cant beat it.
In all reality Utah is my home now. I do enjoy it. I may dream of coastal living, but being close to our families far outweigh any thought of leaving.
I went running the other day. Ive been maintaining my running schedule most weeks, and today was the first day that I really saw a difference in almost 3 months. I could put on a pair of my pants that just two weeks ago I couldnt even zip up. But let me go back a bit. Running. I have many posts about running here on my blog and I think because it is often the time that I do a lot of my thinking. My only alone time during the day and when Im tired and the last thing I want to do is run I force myself out the door and put one foot in front of the other. Some days my feet are like lead, and I never feel better during the time I am out. Other times I am rewarded by renewed energy and the endorphins kick in, and I feel free from all obligations and its me and the road. I know my dedication to running is two fold. One to stay in or get back in shape. And two because if im not anything, I am dedicated. A person once said that running isnt about being in shape, its about about your dedication to all things in life. Running is most often a solo event. A push against self, and measuring your own best. There are races to win sure, and competitions to be in, but ultimately there is no one to pick you up should you fall but yourself. No one to pass the ball off to, or blame should you loose. Running like gymnastics, is a competition with yourself. Win or loose its on your shoulders. You carry the burden of defeat or triumph of winning. My life as a gymnast growing up was anything but easy. There are no teammates to blame should the final shot be missed and you dont win finals, state, or a national championship. I think this is why gymnastics has always been so important to me. The life lessons you learn and what it gave me growing up.
You learn to rely on yourself, and push yourself harder than you think possible. You talk to yourself during practice, during meets, you dream routines and push yourself through injury. You deal with pain, and go on with out complaint. You discipline your mind to focus intently, to deliver your best everytime. When you fail, fall, or make a mistake, its a blow like no other. You let yourself down, but you take responsibility for the failure and work harder next time.
You work harder than you can ever imagine to be the best you can...
And lay exhausted at night when you are through. You know your limits but when you think you have reached them you pull something from deep inside to keep going.
I started gymnastics at 4 because I was a challenge. My mother thought this would be a great way to use my never ending energy. My love of gymnastics was my own. I was never going to be an Olympic gymnast, but my last two years I showed progression like never before. It was in those years, 12-14 years of age, that my dedication to the sport and to myself emerged. The gym I went to hired a new head coach. And with him everything changed. No longer were we able to stop, doubt, and quit when we were tired. No, we were pushed to the edge, abused mentally and physically. ( Due to this abuse physical and otherwise he was eventually fired and sport psychologists were called to our gym) If we fell we got up and repeated the skill over and over and over and over again. ( I am reminded of a particular time: I was on the balance beam and was doing my tumbling series- two backhandsprings in a row.- I fell after the second backhandsrping. Due to that fall, I had to complete the series before I left the gym that night 50 times. Another example- I had a bad rip on my hand from my bar routine. The blister was torn and bleeding. I was in agony- however I had to complete 10 full routines before I could stop. I did it. And a final example. My coach was angry- we were on floor practicing our double backs. We were all lined up to go one right after the other, and the girl infront of me didnt land right, twisted her ankle and hit her head as she fell back on the concrete. He told her to move, get up and back to the front of the line to do it again and THIS time she better stick her landing!)If we were hurt we continued on. And on, and on. I learned to hate a sport I thought I would do in college. I got injuries and couldnt shake them. I grew tall. I moved to another gym to hopefully get back my love for practice and competition. I found a loving coach, a kinder coach. But I had lost my drive. It was the saddest day of my young life to walk into the gym and tell my coach I was quitting. See gymnasts dont quit. Its admitting you arent good enough, strong enough. Its why two years after that I started to coach. I didnt want to have girls who loved the sport, have it beat out of them by the relentless pressure. Its why still to this day I miss the gym, feel at home in one, and would love to be there. Teaching the most important life lessons to young kids. Its why when I read that Paul Hamm is withdrawing from the Summer Olympics due to his hand injury, my heart went out to him. Gymnastics is the most brutal of all sports. However it gave me confidence. Self esteem. I was a strong girl. I carried my confidence in making friends, doing well in school, staying away from drugs. My years in gymnastics gave me dedication to carry me through tough life situations, got me to finish college when I thought of quitting. Im not a quitter, so I kept going and going till I reached my goal. I think this is why a failed marriage, inability to go to nursing school, weights heavily on me. I was taught that you never stop trying you dont give up...and so to admit defeat on any level is hard for me to swallow. I know I can be hard, tough....I know that I will expect the same level of hard work from my children in the things that they do. It is why I go out day after day in 100 degree heat and continue to run. And its the reason that I will continue to go out and run even though I would much rather eat ice cream and sit on the couch each night. :)
