Kauai Pics

Christmas Photo

Here is the holiday family photo of 2007...

Just got back from Hawaii- pictures to follow.....

Week

I feel like sharing what has been a crazy week. A good week but a stressful one none the less for me. As many of you know we leave for Kauai tomorrow for the next 7 days. We are very excited as I think any two people that are ready for a relaxing get away can be. But before we left we needed to see our parents and do the exchange of gifts and holiday events a bit ahead of time. Last sunday I mentioned we went to my moms for the combined Birthday event and dinner. Tuesday night Jonathans parents came and met us downtown to have a nice casual dinner and take in the lights at temple square. Now that being said I have to pause here. See I want to start traditions of Christmas with my own family. So part of the holiday traditions that I have done in the past and want to continue : ice skating, lights at temple square, the christmas tree decorating, gingerbread houses, candy making, neighborhood presents, charity donations...etc etc. So when I suggested to Jonathan that this was the last week we had to see lights before Christmas we got his parents to join us. Now seeing them was great. Visiting with them, eating, walking etc was all fun. Its Elijiah that was difficult. I could blame it on the long day, the anticipation, taking a 5 year old after a long day at school and expect him to behave perfectly on an outing with adults is a stretch, but I was hoping. However it wasnt to be. He started to fade quickly after dinner ended. The lights were pretty, the weather warm enough to enjoy the night but both Jonathan and I had enough by the time we got home. I am grateful for the effort his parents put in to meet us though...its not easy to do that during the week regardless. We got some great gifts( THANK YOU!) and I hope they liked what we gave them.
My dad came over last night to have dinner with us and see Elijiah. Again I cant say that Elijiah is all that well behaved as of late. He seems to have developed this degree of know it all'ness and Im not sure how to deal. He tries and corrects me and indicates that he is right and I am wrong. Now Elijiah is incredibly sensitive and his feelings get hurt quite easily- so when I start to get mad or try and explain why he is incorect or just that he needs to listen he either gets very angry or cries. I dont know how else to get through to him. (sigh) I digress, dinner was nice, Dad is doing a bit better with some possibilities on the horizon( he just went through a painful divorce and lost his job- great timing for the season eh?) So I was glad to see some spark in him again. I worry about him a lot as any one would. But he went above and beyond in thinking about the gifts he gave us and because I know where he is at its all the more appreciated. Im sure trying to do things for your children and grandchildren with such limited funds at the moment is hard. Elijiah didnt give adequate thanks in my opinion, but in case my dad is reading this- Elijiah read your books in the bath and at bedtime last night. He really loves them. Thanks again.

I guess Im rambling but really work, laundry, cooking, and packing on top of everything else this week, I cannot wait to be outta here!

I do want to mention something regarding Jonathans school. He switched to IT like many of you know, and its been going well. However he had his first programming class and it was supposed to be a concepts class. Well his teacher the lamo, was incredibly unhelpful and Jonathan spent 5 weeks basically trying to teach himself to program. While this wouldnt be an issue for some, Jonathan is beginning these concepts and needed a bit of help. After a grueling 5 weeks and him studying typically 4-5 hours each night and every weekend he pulled a B+( which is the lowest grade he has gotten thus far) out of the class. Im so proud of him. However he has decided to retake the class as he just doesnt feel like he got enough out of it to continue on with the classes that are coming. I admire his determination to not just get good grades but actually learning the material so he understands it. I wouldnt have been able to do the same I think....I would have just continued to struggle along, but he has shown me that he is willing to step up to the plate time and time again and really do his best. Its a wonderful quality to have in a spouse- to have them work hard, and a knowledge that he will give his best -in school or his employment.

I have decided that I wont fixate on not being with Elijiah for a week, to enjoy quite possibly our last couples vacation in a long time, and relax. I hope everyone has a great Christmas and Ill post pictures when we are back!!!

this is funny

Found this on the internet...very funny and very true....

*Maternity Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your
OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

*Preparing

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don' t bother because you remember that last time,
breathing didn't' t do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for a n epidural in your eighth month.


*The Layette

1st baby: You pre-wash newborns clothes, color-coordinate them, and
fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

*Worries

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick
up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three year old how to rewind the mechanical swing

*Pacifier

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you can go home to wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off
with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

*Diapering

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they
need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

*Activities

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and
Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

*Going Out

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call
home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
sees blood.

*At Home

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

*Swallowing Coins (a favorite)

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to
the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for
the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

So..

We have 6 days till we leave for hawaii and this week looks like a busy one with work and preparing to leave...
The weekend was great, got to hang out with friends and family, take in a new movie with Jonathan and clean house. I guess Im just so glad to have my energy back and feeling good enough to do things again. We moved the baby stuff upstairs and starting to put together the nursery. Its amazing how much stuff that I kept from Elijiah, but what we still need to get. The list is endless at this point. We are trying to stock pile formula and diapers as I know how costly these things are, but I dont think we will really get ahead. My only hope is this baby wont eat as much as Elijiah did. With him it was close to 400.00 a month in formula and $ was tight that first year. I know I should breast feed, but anyone that knows me - knows why I cant. Between working( not that you cant work and pump), my lack of production, my surgeries, Migraine headaches which I had to pump and discard the milk and feed Elijiah formula during that time, it was too much. I was so stressed out. So in attempt to try and learn from my past situation, and enjoy things more this time, we have decided to just bottle feed. I jokingly said to my sister that is still breast feeding to start storing hers and Id pay for it, but thats not really feasible.

Anyway my Moms birthday is the 18th and we had a nice family dinner on Sunday to celebrate.
This week we will be seeing Jonathans parents for an early christmas exchange of gifts along with my Dad as well. I love the holidays even though things can get crazy..anyway back to work I go, I have tons of stuff to do today- Yipee!!!

Ode to my man

This is a post dedicated to my love.. I want Jonathan to know he is my everything and that Im super stoked to be going to paradise with him in a few short weeks.
These are a couple of pictures of him that always put a smile on my face and I wanted to share...

We are headed to Hawaii in 2 weeks and I am so excited to hang out, just the two of us( oh please oh please dont rain) enjoy some much needed R & R, and some good quality "us" time. I cant wait!

First things First

Its my sister Whitneys bday today so Im sending a shout out to her!! Happy birthday! While it wasnt fun for her to have Josh gone a year, it gave us a year of being together which was priceless. ( she moved in with me while I was single and having her and kate as roommates was a blast ) I have a lot of great memories of us hanging out that year, and Im so grateful I got to know my sister as an adult. Im 9 years older? I think--- and I dont have a lot of memories of Whitney while I lived at home. There was the year that I moved in with Mom after she got divorced, but I still was caught up in my own life to really spend time with her. Anyway I miss her tons and I hope someday she and Josh move west of the mississippi again.

I got tagged by Casey so because I am willing to play along here goes:

Best thing you cooked last week: Nothing I dont cook anymore.


If money, time and babysitting were no object, where would you go and with who...1. Europe, my home away from home with Jonathan and Elijiah- forever. I would move there and never come back...well except to visit family. Where exactly? Well there are tons of places that I have loved to visit, but if I were to choose some place there to live it would be Tuscany. The countryside is beautiful, its full of quaint towns and small villages- but I would be close enough to all the big cities I love.


When was the last time you cried? Yesterday thinking about how long it had been without having a good dose of time with Elijiah and the reality of that being the norm. Can I contribute this emotion to being pregnant? I seem to cry ALL THE TIME

Five things you were doing 10 years ago: This one is hard for me: 1997.... 1. Dating Khory 2. Enrolled at SLCC 3. Working at discover card 4. Living in the Aves 5. having no money to do anything but still finding ways to travel

Five things you were doing 5 years ago: 2002:1. Elijiah was born 2. Had just bought our first house ( nov 2001) and starting to do the remodeling on it 3. Enjoying the Olympics and fun house guests. 4. Working at Comphealth 5. Back to school again for Nursing prereqs

Five things you were doing 1 year ago: 2006 1. Dating - hadnet met Jonathan yet. 2. Renting a great condo and planning Christmas events 3. Teaching Relief Society 4. Working at Pacificorp and trying to make the best of it. 5. Finally at a place in life that financially I was ok on my own, and I knew I could support myself and Elijiah...what a great feeling.

Seven of your favorite hobbies: reading, running, baking, traveling, trying new restaurants and going back to old favorites, hanging out with Elijiah, camping.

Five favorite foods: Authentic Italian food in general, muffins from Great Harvest, Thai food, Indian food( too numerous again to name) and cold cereal.

Five places you've been: Mexico, France, Croatia, Prague, Italy

Five Favorite Memories: The first time I saw Jonathan, my first trip to Europe, holding Elijiah for the first time, my weddings ( both of them but for different reasons: to Khory because it was wonderful to have all my family and friends there, to Jonathan because I felt that I was finally making the right decision and we would spend eternity together) Seeing fireworks over the S.F bay off battleships. I love July 4th and that was a spectacular display.
While those are 5 memories the last isnt a favorite...I have too many incredible memories that all rank up there: Early morning moutain bike riding with my dad, the birth of Noel, seeing the Duomo in Milan for the first time, Walking across the St. Charles Bridge in Prague, New Years Eve in Paris with friends, rock climbing in Moab, getting Keeva, buying my first house, graduating from College because I worked full time the entire time and paid for it myself, taking a canoe trip down a river in Maine, eating at the top of the needle in Seattle, and on and on and on....

not much to say...

It was Khorys weekend with Elijiah so I took advantage of Jonathans study time for some R & R. He got me a gift certificate to a spa for my birthday, and I ended up booking the ultimate facial. Now let me say I love all things spa related. If he gave me that gift every year I would be a happy camper. As a mom I feel bad taking that time and money on something so frivilous if you will, so as a gift? I love it!!! It was bliss. Thanks honey!

So the other night Jonathan and I were talking about Elijiah and how hard it is for me now that he splits his time between Khory and I to be super strict with him. When I was married to Khory, this wasnt hard, he was an easy baby and toddler, he listened well, knew when he was wrong, and I prided myself on consistency and structure. Now that hes in and out so much, I find myself wanting Elijiah to have a good time when hes in our home. I hate hearing the words" I hate you, I want my dad", "When do I get to be with my dad again?" So I try and make his time a happy time, full of love and still some structure, but Im started to fail in a few areas. Such as not wanting him mad at me so doing everything I can to make things right even when I know he needs a time out, or whatever. An example of this:
We were all eating dinner and a comment was made about no one likes to be bossed around and that Elijiah needs to make sure he isnt bossy with his friends at school. Well Elijiah took immediate offense to this jumped up from the table was terribly upset, and ran to his room. I gave him a minute and then went down to Elijiah to talk to him about it. He yelled at me to leave him alone but no...I couldnt do that. I had to follow him around ask him what was wrong, why he was mad and to come upstairs and eat. I realize my stubborn child will do what he wants and ultimately didnt join us, but I had to try. Jonathan made a point that in a normal situation I would have probably let him throw his fit and come back when he was ready and then talk to him. But since Im so worried about every little thing I cant just let things go.... Im going to work on this.

Does anyone know about divorce guilt or experienced it? Its dreadful. I already lament my time away, and so the precious few hours I get with Elijiah I just want to be good. Over the last 6 days Ive had 3 hours with Elijiah, and today Im crawling out of my skin. Its been too long. I miss my son. Im starting to feel anxious. Oh I know this is life. I have to get used to it. Khory needs this time with Elijiah as Elijiah needs time with his Dad. Somewhere in my backwards mind though I think to myself, nope Mommy time is most important, and it would be ok if he was with me 100%. I know this isnt true. I know he is fine. Or this is what I have to tell myself alot so I dont fixate on how little Ive seen Elijiah in the last week. Today on my lunch break I even ran over to Elijiahs school for 15 mintues just to say hi, give him a kiss. Pathetic I know, but there is a feeling of relief. I got to hold my child for just a minute breathe in his smell and I think Ill be okay for another 24 hours- I get him tomorrow after school. This coming week Ill have Elijiah Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Then it will be Khorys turn again. This is my life and this is the part of it that really sucks.