Happy Anniversary My Love!

To the love of my life...while it wont be the most romantic of days....I thought these might help some. I love you Jonathan.

You're so far away...

...and I miss you desperately. Stange for a boy that stayed single most of his life because he wanted his time to be all his - free to do what he wanted, when he wanted to. You've changed me in so many ways; all of them for the better. Our second year of marriage soon approaches and I need to express how wholely smitten I am with you! I also have to tell you how grateful and thankful I am that you sacrificed your mind and body - went through the most horrible pain a human can experience - took a massive step again into something that frightened you terribly, to bring to the world this remarkable little boy.

I know that you miss him terribly so I wanted to share our afternoon with you in pictures. I can't wait for you to get back Amber. Call me co depenant, but I'm incomplete without you...

AND I HAVEN'T SHOWERED FOR THREE DAYS!!!!! hahahahaha (I joke, I joke)

I am indeed a terrible father as I didn't put shoes on him... Don't worry honey, it was dry and warm out ;-)

I absolutely ADORE the little sumo-squat he does nowadays. Check out his hand position! He's ready to shart Chopin's Prelude in Dminor!!!

Preparing to play his masterpiece... we'll have to curb him of his drooling problem prior to stage performances.

Yes, yes, I know that part was difficult to master but you have it down!

Paparazzi BEWARE, this one makes getting that perfect shot a challenge!!

Tubby time has been mine for the most part and I can't wait for it every day. Some of the sweetest moments have been when lil'monster is all sudzy and happy.

Quite the ham...

Classic loopy/happy shot...

Last Park Pictures...

We are leaving tomorrow for Canada and so I wont be posting for a few days. I wanted to get the last of the park adventure pictures posted before I left....

Yes bugs did attempt to eat this here bark...and no it didnt taste very good ...

I cant tell you how it warms my heart when these two play.
Goodness look at this picture!! I love this little man to pieces.




Yes we really enjoyed hanging around at the playground that day...Tristan did love getting dirty and playing. I tried not to care that he was picking up things off the ground and trying to eat them. I did learn one lesson however. I would bring his pacifier next time. He wouldnt try and put everything in his mouth that way...

Yes, I AM going to brag about my patheticness!!!

It was a sore battle the whole race but eat my shoe-dust Brad Wolverington, I KICKED YOUR CAN!!!

Swings

He wasnt so sure the first push or two but by the time we had to go he loved it!

Anxiety levels are rising

This always happens. Its been 5 days since Ive last seen my child. I dropped him off at school Wed morning and I havent seen him since. Ive talked with him every day of course but there is still something about tucking him safely in bed each night knowing that hes in our house safe and sound. I dont have to worry that he will get up in the middle of the night with leg pains and I wont be there. Or that he will go for a walk up the street and someone will kidnap him( yes I worry about that) Or that he will have a bad day at school but I wont get to give him a hug and talk about it on the way home, or go over his homework, or be the one to kiss him goodnight that night. It happens every time he goes to his dads house each week. I start to feel this intense anxiety build up inside my chest and know that until I see him, hold him, and give him a big hug it wont go away. I try and play cool, but yesterday when I called him and he was on the phone talking normally and then went into a whisper so his dad couldnt hear and said in a small voice " mom I really miss you" I whispered back "Oh sweetie I miss you too- I be there right after school k? I love you!!" Im sure within the first hour when hes a grumpy stinker again Ill wonder what I why I was missing him so( haha ) but for now Im counting the next 7 hours till I can pick him up from school and see those adorable brown eyes!

Grandma Bennee 3-19-09

My grandmother passed away yesterday. This photo was taken while she was in the hospital(she and my cousin Doug). We knew it was coming and Im sad but happy as I know she is in a much better place. We will be traveling to Canada next week for the funeral and Im excited to reunite with family to talk about my Grandma- share stories of her life, and be together. I want to post pictures of when she was young, and capture some of those stories here on the blog so my children can know a sliver of the woman she was, and not loose her completely. My grandfather died when I was pregnant with Elijiah and this is now my second grandparent to go. My fathers parents are still alive but it makes me sad that my children really wont develop the relationships with their great-grand parents as I have, and the natural course of life is coming to an end. I want my children to know and I hope that they will know, that NOTHING in this life is more important than your family. NOTHING.

Park Adventure

So over the next few days Ill post the pictures of our Park adventure. I took so many pictures and I couldnt choose which to post...so Ill post LOTS! It was just so fun! Now that Tristan is walking up a storm, he had a blast(eating bark, sitting in swings, going down slides) and so now the rest of you have endure my proud mama moments.

Well this is the park that is a block from my Mothers house. Its a very nice park but I think a bit too old for Tristan yet. However Elijiah thought that Tristan would love to go on the slides with him. I wasnt sold at first but there is a small slide at the end of the play area that I agreed to let Elijiah hold him and go down. I was terrified that something would happen while I was snapping pictures- Elijiah would loose his grip and Bugs would tumble down face first or something of that nature- and I said so to Elijiah. Elijiah I think, believes his mother is insane. He explained to me that NOTHING would happen and he will take good care of Tristan and to TRUST him. TRUST a 6 year old? Um right!! Anyway I was game as Tristan was dying to get out of the stroller and see what it was all about.....

This is where the above conversation was taking place...Elijiah was trying--- and ultimately did convince me to place my baby's life in his hands.

Look at Elijiahs face... is it instilling confidence in you ? Would you hand over your 11 mo to him for safe keeping??( He does look like the very proud older brother if I do say so)
Hes preparing to go down the slide now...( all 2 feet of it)
Yea!! That was fun!!

We had to try one more time MOM! See nothing bad happened!
NOW On to the big slide....You might question my wisdom...but hey when your 6 year tells you hes got it under control...who I am to argue?

He looks like he does right? Got it under control that is...

Here we go!!!

Success!!! They made it and it looks like Tristan had fun!! It gave me a slight heart attack, so I said that one time was plenty, even though it seemed like Elijiah did indeed have it under control. The slides overall were lots of fun and I promised next time we could do it again.

Little Devil!

This is what happens when mommy is very tired and lies on the floor with the camara, capturing the following mess in the making....

It was all done in a matter of a minute or so...I was a little annoyed at myself because it made quite a mess to clean up( every ziplock baggie and trash bag had to be put back oh so carefully) but I think Tristan had fun!