VEGAS!

Vegas was a lot of fun!!!( We booked several months ago through a radio promotion on x96..and went down on a plane with some radio DJs and a plane full of other listeners...fun stuff I tell you... )after all that had been going on in the last few weeks we were looking forward to spending some time together but also just hanging out. We had grand plans of fancy dinners, shows, and perhaps a dance club or two, but we were tired. Upon check in I asked the guy to give us a room away from the elevators because while some people come to vegas to party we- or should I say I was more interested in sleeping. He assured me no problem that we were far away from the elevators all would be fine. And it was...we walked and shopped the first day and totally wore ourselves out. So much so that sunday night we fell asleep at 4pm. Yes I did say 4pm. However 5am and what do I hear....the BEEP BEEP of construction trucks outside my window(note we were on the 23rd floor and I could still hear every noise). We are on the construction side of the building of the hotel where I guess in VEGAS construction can begin at the ungodly hour of 5. So needless to say my day began. Monday we thought to take in a show, but realized that Mondays all shows were on their "day off" so in the end our vegas trip consisted of us hanging out in the room watching movies, shopping and eating way too much food, oh and getting up the next day at 5am due to the same beeping of construction trucks! We were missing the boys and anxious to get home as weird as that sounds but we had a good 3 days of fun and good time to ourselves....
Jonathan couldnt resist the good 'ol eBay machines when he saw them...had to snap a quick shot..

This is what happens when you end up getting bored in Vegas you start to try on every ridiculous thing in the gift shop when you pass by....what do you think? I think mine are actually pretty decent. And no idea whats up with the face expression...no comment.

Jonathans??? Not so much.
Low and behold!!! Dustin(Jonathans brother) was in town for a medical conference all week and we didnt even know it till we were already in Vegas- talk about coincidence! Very cool to see him and catch up!

No one around to take our picture so it had to be done...the self portrait.

Now we went to the fun toy store- would you believe these are 250$ each! I fell in love- If I had to decorate a nursery right now Id go out and buy them...or try and have my mother re-create...MOM see these...can you make them for me??!!

All in all- had a fun time...K honey- VEGAS- Check...next San Fran.

WY Trip

Last weekend was a whirlwind of travel from WY to Vegas....Jays funeral took place in Powell WY which is about 20 minutes north of Jonathans hometown of Cody. We knew without a doubt we would go to the funeral but didnt know how much time we could take. See a few months back we had booked a trip to Vegas the same weekend- Leaving Sunday and returning Tuesday. With much discussion it was decided that Cindy still wanted to watch Tristan for us and so we drove up on Friday, stayed for the funeral on Saturday, and drove home Saturday afternoon and left for Vegas Sunday morning.
The drive was long for Tristan...he hates the car to begin with, and a 7-8 hour trip one day and then the return trip the next, it was difficult to say the least. I sat in the back seat doing my best to entertain him, and I think I did pretty well considering.
The funeral was one of the saddest, but most beautiful Ive ever attended. Cindy was one of several who spoke and did a wonderful job talking about her brothers life, and the wonderful man, husband and father he was. He left an incredible legacy behind and it was a real tribute to see the turnout. He made such an impact not only on his family, but in the community which he lived. I was personally touched by the remarks made by those that knew him, loved him and even those that only met him several times. He was someone that had his priorities straight- God, family, community. He taught the value of a days HARD work, service to fellow man, testimony of the gospel and living it, being a loving husband and father. It makes you start to wonder if I were to go today what will those left behind remeber of me? What is the legacy I am building? How do I want to be remembered? The experience has left me changed in a way- made me different- made me want to do things a bit better, be better. I know that Jonathan and I talked a lot about Jay, his impact on those around him for better or worse, but mostly how we want to be for eachother and our kids - afterall isnt that the most important thing we have here on earth...our families? While the chapter of Jays life has come to an end- I have to say this experience has made me profoundly grateful for each day. I feel closer to Jonathan and his family, grateful to share in this sad time --for through this I have been again blessed to know better the character of the man I married and the strength of the family I am apart of. I am a very lucky woman.
I had to post some pictures of Tristan in the car ride up to WY- he was pretty funny.....

Ah he found the pacifier!

Not a happy camper!
Trying to touch the camara...

One of many times he is wanting to get out...so sad :)

Valentines Party

Ah valentines! Such a great holiday right? I love being a "room" mom at Elijiahs school but sometimes I think I try and do too much. I suggested that we do a cookie decorating party and I volunteered myself to making the cookies for the class- no biggie really- I have a great recipe, and I love baking, but the party was the week after we moved and we were in the midst of the family crisis. My commute was aprox 2 hours each way to and from work that week( due to the storms we got) and the night I spent baking these cookies was about 3 hours- so while I know Elijiah appreciated his cookies- he will never know the sacrifice to which they were made for him....( why didnt I just buy them you ask? Because I am plagued by working mother guilt you see....) Anyway they turned out great and we had several leftovers which the family had to eat all week- yummy!

dont they look good?

Here is Elijiahs classroom looking all cute and decorative

Kindergarten is such a fun place....

As for Jonathan and I - our Valentines had some promise. Mom and Layne offered to watch the kids so we could have a date night. We dont know Ogden that well but we made some dinner reservations at a local Italian restaurant and we were excited at the prospect of a few hours alone. Our last two attempts at a date night were the quiznos sandwich shop the night we moved- and the soup or salad joint a few months back. ( any time sans kids is now considered a date for us- ah how we have fallen!) Anyway come to find out they had changed the menu for the evening, and now there were no pasta options - just meat and seafood( which I dont eat either- and they upcharged for the night). So we cancelled our reservations and were trying to figure out what to do last minute. Add a new snowstorm to the mix we were unsure what we should do if anything. All we wanted was a few hours alone. Undeterred we agreed to just get in the car and try to get into a restaurant regardless of the wait. We thought to drive to Layton where there were more selection of the places to eat, but the storm was getting worse- we passed a Wingers and I said lets just eat there- not the best place for a vegetarian to find food, but it worked. I got a veggie burger. Anyway Jonathan and I aren't huge fans of the holiday- its more of an excuse to have a night to ourselves. All in all the evening was a success and we were grateful for the few hours to ourselves. Thanks Mom and Layne!

Glory's Call

I asked my dad to send me some pics of Jay because I couldn't seem to find any in my scrapbooks or on my computer. I wanted to have some around to help me keep more of him around. He sent me one from not that long ago where Jay was dancing with his mother with his wife, daughter, and other family looking on. They all looked so happy and almost congratulatory and Jay seemed to be looking off, in complete peace, to some wonderful place. I'm so frustrated with my lack of photoshop skills but wanted this photo to make it into the next printed book of our blog.

Anger\Fear

I'm angry at the medical community probably because this healthy man in his 50s went from fine to dead in 3 weeks in ICU and some of the best doctors in the nation STILL have no idea what caused it. Those of us that are rational and educated realize that doctors aren't Gods - they don't know everything. However, personally experiencing something that throws the fact that we really don't know hardly ANYTHING medically speaking in your face is horrifying. Think of how we treat cancer. Do we know what causes it? Do we go in and fix the problem or do we hack off parts of people's bodies and pump them full of chemicals so that they basically die and we hope that as they come back to life, the cancer stays dead... It was so scary to see this amazing healthy vibrant man have his organs slowly and methodically shut down until his breathing then heart quietly gave up. It may have been Jay's time, and in all reality, there is hardly a man I know that deserves to go Home more than he does but I want some answers. I need some logic and reason. I may not get it until I get to that Place where I won't care any more but for all of us that are hurting right now, I hope that at least SOME answers come...

Jay passed away last night

We got the call this morning.

Jonathan is mad- upset at the medical community for not being able to save a man that was healthy several weeks ago and fell ill suddenly. He was touch and go this last week- and we had hoped that he would pull through. Last week Jonathan was able to see Jay while he was awake, but it was not a good visit, he was declining and it was for only a few minutes. But at least he was able to see him.

ex husbands girlfriend....

Is a title I will never be able to say without cringing...Ive been out of the office most of this week and thus my blogging is behind- but I had to vent and my blog is a good place to do it right!? LOL...

So Ive just come to accept that *she* doesnt understand normal boundaries nor appreciate the MANY emails, conversations Ive had with her and Khory about HER place in Elijiahs life and thus my battles must be carefully picked. I know shes in beautician school but must she practice on my child? I went to pick Elijiah up from school the other day and Im scanning the gym trying to find Elijiah and I cant find him, Im looking, looking.....I go down the hallway where there are bathrooms back out to the gym where the kids hang waiting for parents to pick them up..finally there are a group of boys sitting together, and I walk up to them...I squint...and there he is... along with a major hair cut- IM ROYALLY PISSED! *SHE* cut his hair! I have an internal debate ---do I call Khory and go off about it? Is this really that big of a deal? It is just a hair cut after all, but its again the principal of the thing...*she* just does what she does with MY child like hes her own, anytime without consulting me!!! ALL the TIME! Is this example worth the argument that will surely come from my bringing it up?? I decide the white flag that is on the flag pole as of late is a nice change of pace so I tell Elijiah that there is a new rule. Next time that *SHE* wants to cut his hair, he needs to say that MOM needs to be called and to find out if its okay. ( I know Ive become such a chickenshi$ lately but Khory is so verbally abusive and I dont have the energy to fight over a hair cut--although I really want to-- I feel like if I let this slide its just the start of a slippery slope) Any thoughts?????

We Moved!

We made it!
Not sure how, with sickness abound- but with the help of our dear parents( all of them ) we did it....
We are still unpacking and trying to figure out where everything can fit, but we will make it work.
Its the commute that scares us both. With the snow storm this morning it took me 2 hours to get to work....Im not sure how the *afternoon commute with 2 kids to get from school + snow storm* how that will go----but Ill keep focused on the bright side of things.
Im happy to have this opportunity. Grateful for parents that will open their home to Jonathan and I for a time. Now if only Jonathan and I can figure out how to sleep on a queen size mattress again......LOL!

...and the fun keeps on coming...

Update on Jonathans uncle- Friday night Jonathans family was told by the doctors that Jay had just 24-48 hours to live. So the whole family gathered at the hospital and said their goodbyes. Jonathan came home mentally, emotionally, and physically exhuasted. We were preparing to get the call sometime on Saturday that he passed and that we would be leaving for WY this week for the funeral. Well either the doctors were wrong or a miracle occurred. Jay is recovering. He woke up from the coma and is doing well. Not great, but we believe he will eventually make a full recovery. There is still a lot of questions we dont have answers to, and the doctors have apologized over the apparant mistake, but they said at the moment it did seem that he wasnt going to make it.
The weekend didnt however get better...we somehow came down with some sort of flu, continued to pack and Tristan got a bad cold sunday night. He started to cough and got the nasty greenish runny nose. Well it kept him up enough that night that Jonathans mom was kind enough to come to the house Monday so he didnt have to go to daycare. Its sure hard being a working parent at times like this.
Well I mentioned last week was the work week from Hell -well I wasnt kidding. I was part of the HR group that laid off 17 people. In light of that, and the incredible work load that I have right now, and feeling a little unsettled, I didnt feel that I could call in sick, even though my little guy is truly ill. However upon coming home last night he was feverish and he didnt sleep much during the day. Jonathan and I were hopeful that he would get some rest and feel better today. Not so much. We were in for a long night last night. His fever was worse, he was dripping with sweat, coughing so hard, and his nose running so much that we were up with him almost the entire night. He would start to cry if he wasnt being held. I was pacing the floors and in tears as he was in pain and I could tell he was just in misery. I have to say there is something very humbling being a parent, holding a sick child during the wee hours of the morning wishing you could do something for your baby and realizing there is nothing you can do. When Tristan finally fell asleep around 5:30 am in my arms-- I sat in the rocking chair listening to his hot raspy breath, his dry skin burning, dispite the tylenol I gave, and I pondered all that has been going on in our lives these past few weeks. I realized that no matter how much children can tie you down, make you want to scream with frustration, there really is no greater joy than motherhood, and there is no other place Id rather be. ( you will have to excuse the grammer in this post- no sleep--- and at this point I dont have the energy to mess with it...)