BUZZ CUT

Hard to get a good look but - YES Elijiah had his head shaved....I wasnt all that excited about cutting his lovely locks, but his Dad insisted every little boy should have a shaved head in the summer. I have to admit, Elijiah looks pretty good. Its nice not to have to do his hair every day but it makes me more paranoid about having a hat on his noggin....
My boy is growing up.

Christmas vacation

Since its Khory's year to have Elijiah for Christmas, Jonathan and I decided to take a trip- just the two of us. We thought this might possibly be the last BIG trip we could take for a long time( europe will have to wait ) so we wanted to go somewhere warm, relaxing and romantic. Bahamas fell through at the last minute, mexico( well we just did that..) Europe a bit too cold and want to do that trip in the spring or fall some year....so Hawaii came up. Well to be honest I wanted to go fo Bali, or Bora Bora. However do you know how expensive it is to go there? I thought heck couldnt be too bad....we could have a bungalow over the water- you know go all out. Um....while we are doing OK....we arnt doing THAT good. Perhaps on our 10th anniversary??? So Kauai- relaxing, less commercialized..........Im totally stoked about it. It will be weird to be away from Elijiah over Christmas, but Im sure he will be kept super busy, and at least we can call him.

Hawaii here we come!!!

Capitol Reef Camping Trip

Lots of fun- and a bit of hell in our camping trip----the hellish part was Keeva...but we dont need to relive that do we?? Went with Jonathans family and had a blast. Lots of fun trying to catch lizards, hiking and climbing around.....

Ah the head....

Migraines-
The ultimate curve ball in my life....can I just say that whoever decided that I get them, should be shot. Ive been told they are inherited, and/or brought on by any numerous amounts of factors. But they hit at the most inopportune time. Ive been a sufferer since I was about 10- or 11. What can I say? Before imitrex I would suffer for days often with a trip to the ER. I have seen neurologists, chiropractors, spent several months in physical therapy, seen nutritionists, been on every medication. Imitrex does work, but sometimes it doesnt. I guess I am lucky that there is something that works much of the time, however getting side lined by something that can just happen because is incredibly difficult. Its hard for me, but those around me as well. Elijiah copes well. He has been around me with headaches his whole life obviously. One of my favorite memories of him was when he was about 8 months or so. Khory hadnt come home from work and I couldnt call anyone...my medicine wasnt working yet, and I had this baby to take care of. I just laid down, put Elijiah on my chest and told him mommy was hurting and I needed him to sleep. He looked up, gave me this goofy face, and laid his head on my chest and within minutes fell asleep with me. I felt so blessed in that moment.

Kinda like yesterday. It was day two of my headache and Jonathan was my lifesaver. He came home from work, took me to the hospital, and got the clearance to use my meds. He had to leave me for the rest of the day but it was ok- a few hours later I was back on my feet. However the day before- with all his homework and work stress, he knew I was in agony. He rubbed my feet, my head, my back, trying to distract me from the pain, and I was so grateful. His presence, his willingness to serve me and help ease my pain, was such an act of love that I cant express my gratitude fully. To be free of that type of pain to help me sleep and forget ---- bliss.

He says its nice to feel needed by a woman he thinks is so competent- but the truth is I rely on him more than he can possibly know. He is my strength, my best friend....

The Dog

( pictures of Keeva, Elijiah and puppies May 2006)

Ok, the time has come for Keeva to have a new home. With the divorce I was to take Keeva....well I didnt live anywhere that allowed for animals so she stayed with Khory....When Jonathan and I got married part of the deal was to take Keeva back and go on with our merry lives. Well it took a bit for Jonathan and Keeva to take to one another- but they did. I considered this a cause for celebration- afterall Jonathan not only had a child but a dog within a few short months. Now Keeva is the kind of dog that loves to be with you. She wants to be where you are, and makes it known shes unhappy if she isnt with you. She will whine and be generally annoying. This was nothing new. Afterall we got her before we had Elijiah and she was our baby for a while. She sat on my lap and on the furniture etc. We were the dog owners who took our dog everywhere with us like those annoying people with no children do. However Keeva took backstage the moment Elijiah was born. She was no longer my child- she was SURPRISE!! A dog. I think for months Keeva pretended Elijiah didnt exist. She would move about the house with her nose in the air and oblivious to the new addition. I was worried about this to be honest. I thought for sure she would take to him and they would be best buddies growing up together. Well the only belief this would happen was one day I took a very young Elijiah to the dog park with me. He was in the baby carrier which I put down on the ground and stood next to while Keeva ran around and played with other dogs. There were some curious dogs near us and they soon came over to sniff the carrier and generally see what was going on. Like radar, Keeva from the middle of the field, stopped playing, head and ears perked up....froze looked in our direction and came running over. She immediately put herself inbetween Elijiah and the other dogs and growled. If a dog tried a different angle or moved she would immediately take another stance to block the offending dog. It was a wonderful thing. I thought, she knows! This is her family and she will protect him. While that was true in public, her distain, or lack of interest in Elijiah at home was the norm. When he started to crawl, he had such interest and love for Keeva, he would constantly be seeking her out. Oh she was patient letting him crawl over to her and mess with her, but more often than not, she would simply get up and move anytime Elijiah would come near. Over time Elijiah started to walk and she would think nothing of bounding past him or knocking him over to get out the door. It was almost a sibling rivarly if you could see it. It was like she was saying" I know your here, and here to stay, but I was here FIRST!" Well with each passing year Elijiah and Keeva became better buddies. He is so gentle with her and she is so protective and tolerant. They play togther and its what I always dreamed of when getting a dog.

Well, things havent been so rosy for miss keeva in the last few months. Whether its the divorce, having puppies or change of people, or living arrangements....she has become a different dog in the last year. The camping trip from hell is a good way to discribe our trip with Keeva a few weeks ago. She couldnt be 2 feet away from Jonathan and I without going bizerk. The whimpering, the howling, the glutteral noises that came out of this dog.....in additional to the viciousness she displayed to Jonathans family and others was insane. I knew I couldnt trust her anymore. Her personality was so different than I have ever remembered. Come to find out Khory said she has changed and she isnt nice to strangers much....ANYWAY to make a long story short, Jonathan and I agreed that while I love my dog a ton, her unpredicability wont be tolerated in our home with young children coming and going. Anything could happen and Khory agreed to take her back. So this is my tribute and tirad to my crazy lovey dog Keeva. I will miss you, love you, but have to do so from afar.

The clan...

History Lesson

I realize that many of Jonathan's friends and family out there know about Noel, but dont know much about the situation. There is a lot to be said of visiting the past to understand the present. Its for those that dont know details that I now share .....
I met Michael( Noels birthfather) shortly after moving to Utah. I was working as a gymnastics coach, and doing modeling on the side. He was here working on a TV show and we met at a club. At first I wasnt interested. But he won me over with his charm and humor. We started to hang out and boy was I in lala land. I was going to movie awards, on set, the fancy dinners and trips to LA where he was once he finished the show. I made a mistake which changed my life forever. I found out I was pregnant about 3 months along. By then my thoughts were to end the relationship. Michael wasnt my same religion and I hadnt given up the thought of finding that yet. We broke up. ( there is a whole side story with someone else here but Ill stay on this one for now) During the several weeks apart he started to work outside of Utah. I faced being in Provo alone without my family for support. I didnt know how I was going to keep coaching gymnastics in Provo and be the role model I had been to girls as an unwed mother. I wasnt wanting to get married so I thought about adoption. I went to my student ward bishop and was referred to LDS social services. I went for one meeting and expressed a desire for an open adoption. I was bitterly disappointed when I learned the Church didnt approve, or support open adoptions( since then they have changed their stance). I felt that my faith was letting me down and lost. I had a friend in California that said she knew of a family that was looking to adopt another child. They had adopted through LDS social services several years before as a closed adoption and they were very unhappy with it. They wanted to try an an open adoption the next time around. I moved back home with my parents for the summer to continue my college classes and figure out what to do. I was introduced to several families through word of mouth. Remember this was before the internet.....I dismissed each one as not the right family. I met with Brook and John and immediately felt something there. The ideas they had about adoption, where they were in life, - our personalities clicked and I felt a real possibility with them. I remember praying and seeking guidence. I was trying to stay unattached to the baby I was carrying. I felt resentment and fear. This was the biggest decision I was ever going to make. I had to make the right one. I was leaving to go back to Utah at the end of the summer and wanted to know which direction to go. I remember clear as day. I went for a run. I was heartbroken over my actions, my decisions so adult and I still was very young. I was crying and then minutes later- while I was still running, I felt the most incredible peace surround my entire body. I was warm, comforted. It was like a voice saying to me it will be alright. I kept having thoughts about Brook and John and feeling they were the family. For the next 45 minutes or so, clear thoughts, continued thoughts of this family, and the peace of mind continued. I knew at that moment my prayers were answered.
To tell Michael my plans--- shattered him. He was prepared to step up. He was willing to do whatever, but he couldnt have his child adopted. We fought. We raged. He disappeared. He eventually signed the papers but only because he thought he was going up against a whole religion. If he only knew. I was scared that he would make trouble, I was cruel, unkind. Not considering that he and I were on a journey, both connected but feeling like he could make my life miserable. Some of the greatest loss was in not being united in our decision.
I went back to provo, quit my job coaching and started to work as a nanny for my friend. I tried to go to school, but my situation, loneliness, stress, and worry, made it impossible. That November 1995 Noel was born. Thanksgiving vacation. Brook and John made the trip up to Utah and were there in the hospital. Michael was waiting for news....of which I couldnt even tell him Noel had been born. That message was conveyed through a mutual friend. While I knew adoption was the right thing....I wasnt ready to let Noel go home with Brook and John. Its in the next few days that Brook and I cemented a trust and friendship that is unbreakable. She knew I needed time, she gave me the diapers, and car seat and said that I should take her home. And I did. I had 3 glorious days of being mom to my little girl. I fell in love, but knew she wasnt for me. The day I gave her over, the social worker, and my mother where there. It was the hardest thing I have ever done to watch my baby drive away with her new family. It didnt matter that I knew it was right. My heart was breaking and it remained so until Elijiah was born. I struggled with finding my place, how to get back into life, what to do with myself, dating etc. I had an opportunity to go to Europe a month or so after she was born to model. I jumped at the chance to heal, be out of the environment that was so familiar, and to immerse myself in a new life. Italy helped. I traveled, worked, made friends, and realized I was ready to finish school and return to Utah. I was a different person, and a better person. I passed through the most difficult thing I had been through as of yet, and came out on the other side. I was able to brush the dust off and carry on. There was times over the years that I would talk with, visit, spend time with Noel and her family, and be fine. Other times it would leave me spent. To want to be a mother so bad, and put trust and faith that it will happen just in the future was difficult. I worked through a variety of emotions and always felt my effort and friendship would serve a purpose later with Noel.
Noel is almost 12. She has grown into an amazing young women. I have a great love for her family. Brook is one of my best friends. Noel and I have a wonderful relationship. The good times far out weigh the bad. The heartache has healed. I have now experienced the joy of motherhood with Elijiah, and know that there is a time for all things. A season for all things. I wasnt ready at 18 to parent, at 26 I was. Elijiahs birth brought me full circle, and allowed me to experience motherhood that was lost to me so many years before. Its a great priviledge to be a mother. Its a wonderful blessing to be a birthmother in an open adoption.

Introduction

Well this sucks....I started something then it didnt save...all that wit, humor to waste. You know how hard it is to duplicate brilliance a second time around???? GRRRR! Well Ill try again.....
Since this is mostly for our friends and family and other interested parties Ill give a brief history of how the bechtold clan came to be ( like most of you dont know) and then a intro to each of us....:)

So here goes.

Jonathan and I met on line. Yes the official site of where it all began is ldslinkup.com. I was currently in a declining relationship and he was just out of his divorce. I saw his profile and had to send some comforting words his way. While I wasnt on the "market" perse, I wanted to send some encouragement - dating after a divorce sucks. Well something I must have said caught his attention. He wrote back. It was clear in the first several emails that there was a connection but alas I was taken. It was a week later that my relationship went downhill and Jonathan put his hat in the ring. I was excited to delve into something that seemed so right. I use the analogy of a box. Sometimes you try to fit things in a box that dont fit, you think it might so you squeeze and sqeeze something and it looks like it will fit, only to pop out later. Or you hold the top down for so long that its convinced you it will stay....only to fall out anyway later on. This was me and my relationship/marriage with Elijiah's Dad. Jonathan on the other hand.....he/we fit. Our courtship was fast -we fell hard for eachother and within 6 weeks we were engaged. 6 weeks later- Married!!! 3-31-07 was the start of the Bechtold Clan. Our life isnt void of challenges or difficulties. Every adult brings stuff to the table. But what I have learned is there are those that help you with your stuff, or make you nuerotic about your stuff . Im glad I found a helper. :)

Now let me break down the key players.....

Jonathan 31- musically gifted. He plays a wicked trumpet and piano( and a little guitar). Voice like a song bird. He really should try out for American Idol( oh wait- he is now too old!! haha) Loves red velvet cake and movies. He knows how to listen and hear what you are saying. Prefers the solice of several close friends than many acquaintences. He is the most loving, kind, affectionate, smart man I know.


Me 30(yup im 6 months younger) first and foremost my greatest loves: being a wife to Jonathan and mom to Elijiah. That said I hope to be a mama to a few more( we think 2 is the magic number...:). I work because coaching gymnastics and traveling the world doesnt pay. Im fortunate to have a good job that provides well. I have been blessed. I continue in my current role not because I love HR, but it is important to do what one needs to do when children are a part of life. I have a good work life balance, and to be honest there are days when I love my profession.

Elijiah- my heart. The joy I have in the small moments with him. Elijiah is truely a bundle of opposites. Shy, confident, cautious, sick skiier, loving, trouble, adventerous, animal lover, smart, kind, a good friend, fast learner. It is a joy to be his mom. I thank Heavenly Father everyday. He healed my wounded heart from the moment he took his first breath.

Noel- The baby I gave up when I was 19. While its an open adoption it affords me the opportunity to see her and know her. If people ask what my relationship is like with her....the best I can describe is like an aunt/niece dynamic. Its close, secure, separate, unique. But I am not her mother. Noel is a mini-me. In looks, in personality. Shes fiesty, smart as a whip, coordinated and athletic, friend to many. She is a truely talented drummer and I know she will be on a stage one day.