*Warning Post will be a long one*
I had the distinct pleasure of hearing one of the most impactful presentations last night and because I couldnt sleep much because of it, I have to capture what was said for future reference.
Dr. Spangler came and spoke at a stake relief society event last night.
The topic was body image, but because she spoke at church vs a scholastic or professional event, she was able to tie it to the Gospel and I was moved, changed.
I have heard and listened to similar presentations about how our media and culture fuels distorted body image, creates a hostile place for us to embrace self, and always feeds our thinking into the "perfect" or ideal image. I have agreed, but then as usual gone home and criticized my own physique, body, pointing out every flaw and search for ways to be "better" skinnier etc.
Last night my eyes were opened to a new way of thinking about my body, and how I can be happy with it. THANK YOU Dr. SPANGLER! You have saved me hundreds in counseling sessions!
Let me begin:
She started by showing slides of several different cultures and what they view as beautiful, the tribe that practices neck ringing, the Chinese that do foot binding etc. How societies often distort the womens body for the "ideal" beauty and how we can as western culture find what they do shocking. However our body ideal, thinness, skinny, etc is equally sad to others not of western culture. She showed us models, (and this is where I havent been moved in the past) with their figures being so thin. I personally love the look. I have been that thin. I long for that again. But I do know most models are teenagers, and havent filled out, they also never eat, havent had children, cant climb a mountain, and are photo shopped heavily. But whatever. I have always liked my body on the thin side.
Heres where it got interesting. She asked us what are our bodies are for. Why do we have bodies? Why are our bodies like Temples? What makes someone beautiful or why are we attracted to someone? She showed us a picture of Sister Hinkley. I immediately got teary eyed. For anyone that is Mormon knows of her light, her faith, her devotion, kindness, compassion, love...and on and on. She embodies beauty. You are drawn to her. Like others that possess similar qualities it is the beauty of countenance that matters, not looks. We have bodies for many reasons. We know that we are God-like in image. God has a body. He sent us to earth to obtain one. Satan due to his choices wasnt not given a body- he wants one but will not ever obtain it. Here is where things got real for me. We have bodies( perfect or not) so that we can progress, experience--- the spirit alone cannot feel, cannot have families, cannot touch-- and so forth. As Mormons our doctrine teaches us to be good to our bodies, we have the word of wisdom we follow, we dress modestly, we teach moderation, etc. Unlike other religions that teach the body is carnal, and when we die there is a "freedom" from the mortal body, a separation- we dont. Christ's atonement teaches us that we will be reunited with our bodies again. That it is a sacred vessel for our preparation of things to learn. It is through our bodies that we can progress in this and the next life. Thus we should not seek for the "perfect" body, or spend our all our energy on obtaining one( hair extensions, nails, surgery, diet excessively- change our appearance to try and BE perfect to the outside world) IF it takes us away from becoming perfected in Christ. And what she explained is our goal in this life is to progress, become one with the Savior, be perfected and in Harmony with God. So to take energy and significant time in harmful activities that take away time to develop spiritually, and become "perfected" is wasteful. To further define her thoughts she gave an analogy that was perfect. She was teaching this principal at home to her 5 yr old son. She said to him" Imagine that you want to give a gift to your VERY best friend. He loves cars so you build him this wood track, you pick the wood, carve the track, design the curves and flow of this track. You spend hours on the details and are so excited about the uniqueness of what you have done, but also imagine the joy on your friends face for the work that you have put in on their behalf. Imagine now that you take this newly built car track to him...and he looks at it and says" umpf" , cool. Thanks, and sets it aside?" As the maker you would feel sad huh?" I can just think that our Heavenly Father has given us these bodies, capable or not, and if we debase, abuse, neglect the care of, criticize, destroy, how that makes Him feel?
She went on to talk about why is it that we compare ( in Mormon religion) our bodies to Temples. And again its a phrase I have heard my whole life but didnt think about till last night. We all threw out ideas and ultimately agreed...bodies are like Temples because God can dwell in them when taken care of. He can talk to us, guide us, provide thought, feeling that without a body cannot happen. Thus like in the Temple and doing ordinances, we are to take care of the body because it is capable of DOING. Satan, again doesnt have a body and thus does much to destroy us thinking positively about what we have been given.
Lastly she gave us some practical advice on how we can teach to our children these things. She of course said that yes watching calories, maintaining a strong healthy body is important and time should be spent doing that, BUT discussing the functions of the body, how what we are given provides us capacity to DO things. A hand for instance can write, hold, feel. An Eye can see color, your teeth are there to help you eat, etc. All our bodies - and again whether they are complete, missing limbs, have disease etc, are given abilities and we should be grateful for them.
There was scripture after scripture of confirmation of these principals, and I left FINALLY able to understand that the 5 pounds that has settled in my waist is OK! I cant let that RULE my every thought, eating choice, run...that my body is meant for OTHER things as well and I need to start to focus on becoming PERFECTED, rather than PERFECT.
Over an hour and a half was dedicated to her research, experience, wisdom, advice, knowledge, Gospel principals...I left feeling spiritualy uplifted, calm and FINALLY at peace.
So it was - a GREAT night.
( I think this one is so funny...tristans expression, elijiah smirk....:)
