I found a swimsuit!!!

Its perfect- it will hide the post prego belly, and I think its super cute!

My Disney Character

At work we are to either pick our favorite Disney Character, or which character best describes our personality. This information will go next to our names on our "name plates" for our offices-- Here are the results of the quiz I took for help....

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Ariel Your alter ego is Ariel, the little mermaid! You are a dreamer, and you often want what you can't have. You can be rebellious and sometimes disobey your parents to get what you want. The Beast 81% Ariel 81% Cinderella 69% Goofy 69% Pinocchio 63% Cruella De Ville 63% Donald Duck 63% Sleeping Beauty 44% Snow White 44% Peter Pan 44%

My life

Ive put off posting anything for a few days because in large part I dont know how much information to share. This blog is for me, to ramble about life, etc....but I know that many of our friends and family log on to read it as well. I also know that this has become my place to share not only good things but some of the challenges I deal with from time to time.
This week has been no exception of good and bad. My friend Sarah made a comment that is true...I have a life full of drama. Whether I want it or not. It seems like that has always been the case. Since I was a teenager I put myself in situations that were unusual, or that gave me a variety of friends and experiences which lent itself to some odd - and ongoing "drama". From being a gym rat from the time I was 4, to dancing, to modeling, to my situation with Noel, Khory, etc. All these decisions have had their consequences and generally for better or worse, still affect my life today. My extended family is no exception. My parents divorce also is a source of complication that carries over to my life and how I deal. So when someone says I have a complicated life, or drama filled life, I cant disagree with them entirely.

This week was a rollercoaster of dealing with a situation that I have come to realize that even though I know I am right, want to fight so hard for, believe my way would be better- I had to let go for Elijiahs sake. There are two people in Elijiahs life that give tremendous lip service to what they think is a better way, but all they do proves that they care not for Elijiah, but for their own selves. I want to go on record to Elijiah - that I have tried. Tried for the last several years to make things change, to have Khory see reason, to have him understand. But our past makes it impossible for this to work. So instead of dragging Elijiah through a painful custody battle(understatement at best), having his parents end up hating eachother(which we are close to at the moment) because it will be more ugly than I care to admit to myself, and more destructive to all parties, I have thrown up the white flag, even though my whole heart and soul believes it is wrong. I have no ability to negotiate in the future, and leave all of this on my faith that Heavenly Father will help me and Elijiah as time goes on. I love Elijiah more than life itself and I cannot make him suffer anything more because of his dad. The one positive thing that I am seeing is that while Khory is verbally abusive, and that abuse once made me hurt and caused damamge beyond what I thought possible, the things he said to me this week bounced off more easily. I consider that progress.

Jonathan has been my rock. Unbelievable considering all we have dealt with this past year. He has his own challenges and stress- work and school give him a lot to deal with, but add my life, well what can I say. He's pretty remarkable.

Baby Shower

Today was an interesting day...in the morning Jonathan and I attended Allisons funeral, which was incredibly sad. I dont know what else to say...

My cousin and mother hosted a baby shower for me this afternoon and I am once again overwhelmed by my family and friends outpouring of love and support. We received lots of wonderful gifts and to everyone we thank you!

Death and Kids...

A sad thing happened this week. Elijiahs friends mom passed away unexpectedly monday. The thing is, since Elijiah started at the Y, he and Katie have been fast friends. Gone to birthday parties, play dates, b-bques at each others houses....I knew this mother in passing sure, but when your kids are friends you try and get to know eachother a bit as well. I have to admit over the last 6 months I havent seen much of her and didnt think twice. Well she died on Monday and no one knows why yet. Strange on Monday night, I took Elijiah for a walk so I could get come excercise and he asked what would happen if I died. I tried to say things that a 5 yr old would understand- that I would be in Heaven with Heavenly Father and I would always love him even if I wasnt here on earth, that I would keep watch over him, he could still talk to me, that I would be his angel. This seemed to work okay for him. Then the next day at school we all were notified that Allison had passed away. So it then became a real topic of conversation amoung the kids. See I dont know why this has affected me so. She and I werent best friends or even that close of friends- just two parents of kids that played together. But to be a mother and think about leaving your children with no warning, no chance to say goodbye, no ability to put together a video, scrap book, letters-say all the things you want to and know that loosing you will define them forever is so heartbreaking to me. Jonathan said he would attend the funeral with me and Im so grateful. I feel like one of the only things I can do for Katies dad now is to pay my respects. I told Elijiah to give Katie and Katies little brother Colby, big hugs. They going to need them.

Pregnant Bellies

Why do people stare at pregnant womens bellies? I suppose its the same with men and breasts...why is it that they are so facinated? I dont get it.

Nor do I get the comments that come out of peoples mouths about a pregnant belly. Word of advice- dont say to any pregnant person " WOW you look like your going to pop! How much longer?" or any other type of similar comment. I may look like a whale, but I bet I can still kick your ass if I wanted...

Weekend Warriors

It seems that the weekends we dont have Elijiah there are lots of things we do to stay busy. This past weekend was no exception. Saturday we were up and going early after cleaning the house friday night. We took a trip to the Library for some new books, stopped by my friend Pati's to borrow a glider for the baby's room, headed to Home Depot, the craft store( actually two craft stores ) took in a movie, and headed home for Jonathan to make me dinner! Sunday my Mom and Layne returned from a week in Hawaii and we went to my cousin Niks mission homecoming. It was very nice. Tons and I mean tons of family and friends came and it was a madhouse, but good as usual to see everyone. The rest of our sunday was lazy and boy did the weekend go fast!

The movie we saw on Saturday was Juno. I heard from others that it was a great movie and one worth seeing. Jonathan wasnt too excited about it, but as usual was a good sport. I think he was pleasantly surprised. Its about a young teenager who gets pregnant, and how she places her child up for adoption. The writing was witty, funny, very charming, and I loved the characters( the prospective adoptive father wasnt all that likable however) anyway I loved the film. I have to admit there was a part where I did cry. Juno was in the hospital room having given birth and tears where running down her face. Her Dad made a comment that she will be back here again someday but in the right circumstances. This just made my heart ache. There is nothing more painful than knowing you are doing the right thing but feeling so empty.

On another note, Jonathan and I worked on a fun project for the baby over the weekend. The nursery is coming along and its exciting to see things come together. We took some pictures and Ill post them shortly as I think things turned out pretty well.