Moving On

Today is Jonathans last day at L3. He moves on to another adventure Monday! He already has spent some time at his new job and he believes its going to be great. To make a long story long- being married to me: yes I know its hard :) Ive got his ear almost daily as to what companies are hiring, salaries etc. For me, the move to my new job at the beginning of the year was the best thing Ive ever done. I cant tell you how much I love my job.....true dream. Knowing all the things I do about the market and whats going on, I was telling Jonathan I think it was time after a few years at L3 to look for something different. Well he wasnt sold. Merit increases, promotions were right around the corner and he knew his boss was hoping to do something for him/ however was open to looking at something incase it didnt work out. WELL she came through- TWO promotions! But very little pay increase....Jonathan was so disappointed. He was already paid below market, and hoped that with the TWO promotions he recieved he would be brought up to industry standard. However it wasnt to be. Through some networking and a rockin' interview with an awesome company, he was offered a new position. Jonathan is beyond excited to be back in an internet company with all the perks, culture and innovation he had while at eBay. There are tremendous opportunities for Jonathan where he will be going and the future is VERY bright indeed. We are eternally grateful for the support of our families, friends- to be able make the change...and we are looking forward to all the adventures ahead!

Little boys dream

Cardboard Mansion-a dream come true for Tristan. Grandmas house is now officially much cooler than ours!

Reflections on motherhood

There are days that I cant do it all, but just as those days inevitably come, there are the days when I feel capable and confident in where I am. I cant believe that I am as old as I am-in my mid 30s’s and still sometimes wish I could move back home and live with my mother. Those are the days when I am overwhelmed by it all and usually end up calling her on the phone and pouring out all my crazy thoughts. Thankfully the later happens more frequently. I do feel pretty good about our family choices, where we are headed, what our plans are. I know that for the most part I am competent in the housecleaning, laundry( some days more than others) dinners…..But what really has me feeling good lately is Tristan. I believe in large part Jonathans mom has made most of the difference, her consistency, love and correction – but I also know over the last 3 years that kid has thrown everything he could at us and we are still standing. I have more confidence as a parent and how my mother told me something that has resonated with me.

Difficult children are sent to those that can handle them. Just like trials, we are given what we are able to handle to help refine, develop ourselves. Children are the same. We can learn, grow, and become better just by being a parent. Easy kids? How will you grow as a parent?( I think this was somewhat tongue and cheek as she considered me very difficult, and now I have one of my own:)) But none the less, Tristan came and with his challenges, it required that Jonathan and I work as a team, rely on eachother, grow in compassion, patience and endure. Oh how we have endured.

Elijiah is out of town with Khory for a week, and it was just Jonathan, me and Tristan the other night. Jonathan remarked on how much better Tristan is of late. And he is. Tristan has entered an entirely different phase and we are enjoying this parenting ride much more than ever before. It makes me realize that yes I can do it, I am capable and it’s a wonderful feeling.

*** (one of my fav's of me and T)

Happy Birthday Tristan

Dear Tristan, As tradition- the annual birthday letter is to follow: This year has brought much change and I cant believe how big you are! We had your second birthday in our new house in Lehi-----You were thriving at the YWCA hanging out with all your friends but specifically Sean was one friend you spoke of all the time. Every day we heard about Sean, you talked about him on the weekends and seemed to be your buddy at “school”. You were and continued to be on the taller side, so lots of people thought you were so much older. You have incredible vocabulary. You hear a word that is unfamiliar and you repeat it over and over, often times your dad and I wonder where in the world you hear what you do.... Unfortunately we may have cursed ourselves with your bedtime routine- having the TV in there where you can watch movies and wind down, but honestly anyone that knows you- wouldn’t challenge us too much. You had a tough year…it seems that the transition of Elijiah coming and going, and just hitting the terrible 2’s brought with it difficulties that sometimes your dad and I were overwhelmed with. Thankfully in the last couple of months you seem to have become a completely new child. While there are minor issues, they are rapidly improving... There are lots of memories of your last year that make me smile- several in particular would be any time you are near water. You LOVE it. In Canada in the summer every morning no matter how warm or cold the day was, you would want to get into your swim suit and life jacket and head off in the water. No matter if anyone was around- you would just walk in, keep on walking till you couldn’t anymore and paddle yourself around for hours. It scared me to death the first couple of times….and made me a little annoyed that at 8am and the water was still a bit chilly I would have to join you …..but you proved yourself to be a capable little swimmer and water bug. I can still see your smile as you were paddling around... You developed a love for all things toystory. Your dad and I bought you little figures and eventually like others they became your constant companions…other figures that have not left your hands for long are the barn animals( piggy, horse, and cow) you would have to have any one, or all three with you wherever we went. You love dinosaurs and can play for hours by your self. Your imagination is vivid and you talk to yourself coming up with all sorts of scenarios with your toys. There are days that indeed I am missing you more and more. This phase is so fleeting and I am not there to share those adventures with you. I often catch you on weekends and I realize how fast time is going by. Bugs- I miss you soo soo much. I do hope that you know how much your dad and I love you. We do our best to make our time with you count and hope that you feel the love that we have for you.... The transition to fall brought some traditions that you finally caught on with- Pumpkin carving, Halloween..... Goodness when you figured out that you could get candy…I think next year you might be willing to brave the cold weather and get it. Christmas came and you were so thrilled to know that Santa brought you presents. You still talk about it. While the true meaning is a bit lost on you at this stage, the innocence of believing in Santa is quite magical for us to see.... We tried to potty train you around Christmas time but you didn’t want anything to do with it. I wasn’t worried. I knew it would happen in good time. A few weeks ago( a good month now?) we tried again and bam! You took to it with no problem. You still wear pull ups at night…but are completely potty trained in the day. You are so proud of yourself!!!( And rightly so!) In January I accepted a new job that required a bunch of changes. No more day care. You get to spend your days with grandma which has been an incredible blessing for all…. The first thing we noticed is that you didn’t get nearly as sick. With that --your sleeping became more consistent. Your behavior also improved. I have to believe this is all related. Sometimes its hard to know that Grandma is taking care of you while I am working, but its really great. You go on field trips and do so many fun things! Dad is off on Fridays so you have special time with just the two of you. Those Fridays have made a big difference for you guys as well. You have slowly transitioned from a mamas boy to a daddys boy. You have your rituals, and Friday activities along with your “working in the basement” projects which is just the two of you. I am always happy to come home from work and hear you yell my name and come running into my arms. You are such a lovey boy. Constantly giving hugs and kisses and telling everyone how much you love them. You got a big boy bed(actually a bunk bed) and you and Elijiah are sleeping in the same room. You still adore Elijiah but have finally gotten big enough to wrestle and give him a run for his money. You are a rough and tumble little boy and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am amazed by how grown up you have become in the last year. I hope you know that everything your dad and I do is because we love you. I hope this next year is filled with wonderful things, that you remain happy and healthy. Happy 3rd birthday bugs. Love, Mom.

(this was written while in the midst of Tristan trying to play with all his toys- talk about hard to formulate thoughts!....AND just to mention for Jonathan and I- how the cake became such a joke...:) *Thank you to all the family that came to celebrate with us. We love you!*

Happy Day

4 years ago today.....

Happy Anniversary my love.

Parent Teacher Conference

This kid constantly surprises me. Well not surprise exactly…for I know what hes capable of…but well pleasantly surprised I guess is the best word I can use to describe what I recently found out. A few weeks ago I had an email convo with his teacher. The teacher that Elijiah complains about constantly, says hes always in trouble with etc. Now I haven’t loved her either- I mean a kid that never brings home homework and says hes bored all the time-oh well. Anyway he brought his report card home and everything was great except his citizenship. He went from a 5( perfect) mark to a 3. I was very upset but knew that it had something to do with the trouble he had been getting into that the teacher and I were discussing but I was still disappointed. I decided that parent teacher conference was coming up and I would further discuss the issues at that time. Last week Khory and I went to meet Elijiahs teacher. We met for about 45 minutes. We went over all the work they are doing, goals they are setting, and what they plan on doing next term. Elijiah has often said he is bored and primarily its because he is a 2nd grader but reading on a 6.5 grade level and so much of the topics they are learning seem boring to him. It’s a bit of a struggle the teacher recognizes and is working to find alternative things for him specially. She mentions that his maturity blows everyone else out of the water, he has a comprehension level far above his peers, and he knows adult humor, joking, teasing and when it goes too far( which she says others don’t- they go and go until they are in trouble.) Elijiahs issues in class is that he often is done before anyone else, and tends to talk which distracts other students and so she has to remind him about that. But here is where she told me things about him that I didn’t know.

1. Elijiah is one of the most popular students in 2nd grade. Because Elijiah is so well liked everyone wants to play with him. ALL the time. She notices that he feels a lot of pressure to include everyone even when he doesn’t want to. Sometimes he wants to just play with one or two kids but because he is always asked by lots of kids to play and he feels bad saying no, he is surrounded by kids all the time and she notices he is overwhelmed by the attention at times- which in turn she can see that he can loose his temper and situations occur where he gets in trouble. She talks to him about trying to verbalize his feelings before he explodes. I laughed and said…well he takes after Khory on that one!

2. There is a kid in the class that gets picked on. Often left out. Elijiah is always kind to include him and when he notices him by himself- he will go over and sit with him. ( Now as a mother I have always tried to instill- you don’t have to like everyone and be friends with everyone- but you have to be nice to everyone- And that he should pay special attention to those less fortunate or those that don’t have a lot of friends and be extra kind.) I was shocked to see that this was an observation by his teacher confirming to ME that something I am doing must be sinking in.

3. There is a behavior/physical disabled class that Elijiahs class goes and hangs out with several times a week. She said that Elijiah was unafraid and easily went in and started to play with these kids and he is well liked there as well. Again that made me happy to hear that he can handle situations where people are different and just play and be a kid with them. All in all the feedback was positive and I was sooo proud of Elijiah and all that he is doing to be the best kid he can be.

Well the weekend was a parenting failure from my perspective. Anytime that I loose my temper and YELL at the kids is a failure in my mind. Even if they deserve it. Feeling like my kids have exhausted me with too many “no’s” so I loose it- well no matter how many times you say sorry- it doesn’t fix things. Tristan was sick, Elijiah "on one", and neither wanted to help out, do chores or contribute….even the treat of a movie didn’t turn them into sweet angels. Sunday was much the same that I went to bed defeated, and told Jonathan that it bothers me that here we are on the verge of another work week and I should be rested. However I was tired. So so tired. Its incredibly hard to be a working parent. There are just never enough hours in the day to get it all done. There is never enough weekend hours to catch up. Saturdays are busy…Sundays just as busy. I don’t feel that we really ever have the family time and one on one time that I crave and need with my boys.

HOWEVER- Monday came the routine began all over but at the end of the night…I said my prayers and literally poured out my gratitude for a day that I won....there were no fights, arguments and yelling. Dinner was made, consumed and enjoyed. Messes were cleaned, hugs were plenty, family time was enjoyed by all, bedtime routine complete and lights out by 9pm.

Heres to hoping for more days like that...

On an unrelated note...we are working on getting one of these in our yard....

(not our yard- FYI- I WISH!)
Jonathan worked all day Saturday digging and preping the ground, buying the wood, putting it together...now we need soil. Cant wait for our garden this summer!