Valentines Party

Ah valentines! Such a great holiday right? I love being a "room" mom at Elijiahs school but sometimes I think I try and do too much. I suggested that we do a cookie decorating party and I volunteered myself to making the cookies for the class- no biggie really- I have a great recipe, and I love baking, but the party was the week after we moved and we were in the midst of the family crisis. My commute was aprox 2 hours each way to and from work that week( due to the storms we got) and the night I spent baking these cookies was about 3 hours- so while I know Elijiah appreciated his cookies- he will never know the sacrifice to which they were made for him....( why didnt I just buy them you ask? Because I am plagued by working mother guilt you see....) Anyway they turned out great and we had several leftovers which the family had to eat all week- yummy!

dont they look good?

Here is Elijiahs classroom looking all cute and decorative

Kindergarten is such a fun place....

As for Jonathan and I - our Valentines had some promise. Mom and Layne offered to watch the kids so we could have a date night. We dont know Ogden that well but we made some dinner reservations at a local Italian restaurant and we were excited at the prospect of a few hours alone. Our last two attempts at a date night were the quiznos sandwich shop the night we moved- and the soup or salad joint a few months back. ( any time sans kids is now considered a date for us- ah how we have fallen!) Anyway come to find out they had changed the menu for the evening, and now there were no pasta options - just meat and seafood( which I dont eat either- and they upcharged for the night). So we cancelled our reservations and were trying to figure out what to do last minute. Add a new snowstorm to the mix we were unsure what we should do if anything. All we wanted was a few hours alone. Undeterred we agreed to just get in the car and try to get into a restaurant regardless of the wait. We thought to drive to Layton where there were more selection of the places to eat, but the storm was getting worse- we passed a Wingers and I said lets just eat there- not the best place for a vegetarian to find food, but it worked. I got a veggie burger. Anyway Jonathan and I aren't huge fans of the holiday- its more of an excuse to have a night to ourselves. All in all the evening was a success and we were grateful for the few hours to ourselves. Thanks Mom and Layne!

Glory's Call

I asked my dad to send me some pics of Jay because I couldn't seem to find any in my scrapbooks or on my computer. I wanted to have some around to help me keep more of him around. He sent me one from not that long ago where Jay was dancing with his mother with his wife, daughter, and other family looking on. They all looked so happy and almost congratulatory and Jay seemed to be looking off, in complete peace, to some wonderful place. I'm so frustrated with my lack of photoshop skills but wanted this photo to make it into the next printed book of our blog.

Anger\Fear

I'm angry at the medical community probably because this healthy man in his 50s went from fine to dead in 3 weeks in ICU and some of the best doctors in the nation STILL have no idea what caused it. Those of us that are rational and educated realize that doctors aren't Gods - they don't know everything. However, personally experiencing something that throws the fact that we really don't know hardly ANYTHING medically speaking in your face is horrifying. Think of how we treat cancer. Do we know what causes it? Do we go in and fix the problem or do we hack off parts of people's bodies and pump them full of chemicals so that they basically die and we hope that as they come back to life, the cancer stays dead... It was so scary to see this amazing healthy vibrant man have his organs slowly and methodically shut down until his breathing then heart quietly gave up. It may have been Jay's time, and in all reality, there is hardly a man I know that deserves to go Home more than he does but I want some answers. I need some logic and reason. I may not get it until I get to that Place where I won't care any more but for all of us that are hurting right now, I hope that at least SOME answers come...

Jay passed away last night

We got the call this morning.

Jonathan is mad- upset at the medical community for not being able to save a man that was healthy several weeks ago and fell ill suddenly. He was touch and go this last week- and we had hoped that he would pull through. Last week Jonathan was able to see Jay while he was awake, but it was not a good visit, he was declining and it was for only a few minutes. But at least he was able to see him.

ex husbands girlfriend....

Is a title I will never be able to say without cringing...Ive been out of the office most of this week and thus my blogging is behind- but I had to vent and my blog is a good place to do it right!? LOL...

So Ive just come to accept that *she* doesnt understand normal boundaries nor appreciate the MANY emails, conversations Ive had with her and Khory about HER place in Elijiahs life and thus my battles must be carefully picked. I know shes in beautician school but must she practice on my child? I went to pick Elijiah up from school the other day and Im scanning the gym trying to find Elijiah and I cant find him, Im looking, looking.....I go down the hallway where there are bathrooms back out to the gym where the kids hang waiting for parents to pick them up..finally there are a group of boys sitting together, and I walk up to them...I squint...and there he is... along with a major hair cut- IM ROYALLY PISSED! *SHE* cut his hair! I have an internal debate ---do I call Khory and go off about it? Is this really that big of a deal? It is just a hair cut after all, but its again the principal of the thing...*she* just does what she does with MY child like hes her own, anytime without consulting me!!! ALL the TIME! Is this example worth the argument that will surely come from my bringing it up?? I decide the white flag that is on the flag pole as of late is a nice change of pace so I tell Elijiah that there is a new rule. Next time that *SHE* wants to cut his hair, he needs to say that MOM needs to be called and to find out if its okay. ( I know Ive become such a chickenshi$ lately but Khory is so verbally abusive and I dont have the energy to fight over a hair cut--although I really want to-- I feel like if I let this slide its just the start of a slippery slope) Any thoughts?????

We Moved!

We made it!
Not sure how, with sickness abound- but with the help of our dear parents( all of them ) we did it....
We are still unpacking and trying to figure out where everything can fit, but we will make it work.
Its the commute that scares us both. With the snow storm this morning it took me 2 hours to get to work....Im not sure how the *afternoon commute with 2 kids to get from school + snow storm* how that will go----but Ill keep focused on the bright side of things.
Im happy to have this opportunity. Grateful for parents that will open their home to Jonathan and I for a time. Now if only Jonathan and I can figure out how to sleep on a queen size mattress again......LOL!

...and the fun keeps on coming...

Update on Jonathans uncle- Friday night Jonathans family was told by the doctors that Jay had just 24-48 hours to live. So the whole family gathered at the hospital and said their goodbyes. Jonathan came home mentally, emotionally, and physically exhuasted. We were preparing to get the call sometime on Saturday that he passed and that we would be leaving for WY this week for the funeral. Well either the doctors were wrong or a miracle occurred. Jay is recovering. He woke up from the coma and is doing well. Not great, but we believe he will eventually make a full recovery. There is still a lot of questions we dont have answers to, and the doctors have apologized over the apparant mistake, but they said at the moment it did seem that he wasnt going to make it.
The weekend didnt however get better...we somehow came down with some sort of flu, continued to pack and Tristan got a bad cold sunday night. He started to cough and got the nasty greenish runny nose. Well it kept him up enough that night that Jonathans mom was kind enough to come to the house Monday so he didnt have to go to daycare. Its sure hard being a working parent at times like this.
Well I mentioned last week was the work week from Hell -well I wasnt kidding. I was part of the HR group that laid off 17 people. In light of that, and the incredible work load that I have right now, and feeling a little unsettled, I didnt feel that I could call in sick, even though my little guy is truly ill. However upon coming home last night he was feverish and he didnt sleep much during the day. Jonathan and I were hopeful that he would get some rest and feel better today. Not so much. We were in for a long night last night. His fever was worse, he was dripping with sweat, coughing so hard, and his nose running so much that we were up with him almost the entire night. He would start to cry if he wasnt being held. I was pacing the floors and in tears as he was in pain and I could tell he was just in misery. I have to say there is something very humbling being a parent, holding a sick child during the wee hours of the morning wishing you could do something for your baby and realizing there is nothing you can do. When Tristan finally fell asleep around 5:30 am in my arms-- I sat in the rocking chair listening to his hot raspy breath, his dry skin burning, dispite the tylenol I gave, and I pondered all that has been going on in our lives these past few weeks. I realized that no matter how much children can tie you down, make you want to scream with frustration, there really is no greater joy than motherhood, and there is no other place Id rather be. ( you will have to excuse the grammer in this post- no sleep--- and at this point I dont have the energy to mess with it...)