Silicon Moms Blog

I found the following on a blog about working and non working moms in the silicon valley....why Im totally taken with reading about other working moms and their opinions ill never know....oh wait because I feel like its good company!!! Anyway sharing some thoughts of a working mom in California with the rest of ya.

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A family unit can support 80 hours a week of work outside the home before the wheels start to come off.

In the years since my daughter was born, my husband and I have punched the family time clock in multiple ways - both of us working 40 hours a week, him working 60 hours and me working 20 hours, him working 80 hours and me working zero (we won't mention that awful time post-Dot-com-Bubble when neither of us was working more than about 15 hours...). The conclusion is always the same - cross the line for any extended length of time and watch all hell break loose.

We've tested it with our friends, too. There's S, who logs excruciating hours to keep up with the New York markets as well as her West Coast clients, while her husband stays home (or rather drives around) with the

kids. There's P&P, who do a really amazing job of balancing two high power careers by rigorous "leaving the office" discipline (it helps that they both have a five-minute commute). They all agree, however, with the basic premise - 80 hours is about the limit.

There's one family I know who pretty regularly keeps it at about 90 hours - but they do it in tandem with the world's most incredible household manager/child care phenomenon. This ain't no $10 per hour college kid, or even your average $18 per hour Silicon Valley take-the-kids-to-the-playground nanny. She's the kind who calls you at work and says, "You don't have to do anything, but you know the toilet in the guest bathroom? It overflowed this morning. I've called the plumber and he's coming at 3:00, and I've called the neighbor to bring the kids home from school, but I just want your OK before I give him your credit card number for $100." She pays the bills, handles the shopping, and signs the kids up for swimming lessons. You find one of those, or if you have a live-in grandma babysitter, you can push the limit. But not by a lot.

It isn't just the hours - you can use extended daycare to cover that. It's the being present. It's having someone aware when a child is struggling with a math concept, or getting picked on at recess - when they can't even articulate what's bothering them. You just can't do that with two parents working to the point that they come home drained and exhausted.

The unfortunate thing is that the number of Silicon Valley jobs that you can do in 40 hours a week is shrinking fast. Mostly they expect 25% more than that - at least. And, if you want to actually own your home, you're probably talking about at least one of you in an executive/partner/fast track role, where the time commitment is pretty much 7 X 24. This practically requires the other member of the couple to go part-time, which is almost impossible to find, which is why so many of us leave the workforce altogether.

And you single parents...I can't imagine how you do it. My deepest respect and admiration go out to you.

I'm sympathetic to the argument that we must all work harder to keep up in the global economy. I absolutely understand the pace of technological change that companies in the Valley deal with. But I also know that requiring more than 80 hours/week of our families will negatively impact the next generation.

Anyone have the answer?