Letter to my boys

My dear boys:

A while ago, while on facebook I was befriended by an old schoolmate. One that I think I might have spoken to a couple of times over the course of 12 years. I remember him because he was different. He was poor- wearing the same clothes over and over, hand me downs, and smelled funny. His older brother was weird, and they often were teased, bullied, and in general left alone. Oh I think they had a friend or two…although I cant be sure who…I didn’t see the brothers often as I tended to stay to myself with my handful of friends, but it always made me sad when I was around them. We would ride the bus home together and often I found myself looking at them but never really interacting. Ive had a soft spot for outsiders my whole life. But here was a situation, where I could have extended greater kindness but I didn’t. Not really. Not in the way that I would want to today…or hope you would if you were in the same situation. I thought about this person over the years honestly…hoping he was okay or that he grew up to be happy. I was lucky enough through facebook to get a peak into his life…and I can say he seems happy. Married with children who have huge smiles and a wife that loves him. But I was brought back to my childhood and realizing that Heavenly Father was speaking to me when my heart was being tugged….compassion flowing through my body and I sat there doing nothing. I was ignoring a prompting to do something, anything…extend kindness. Heavenly Father uses us on his behalf and I ignored the feeling time and time again when it came to these boys.

My biggest hope above all else is that you each become protectors of the weak, innocent and downtrodden. That you may be an instrument in Gods hands when he needs you and that you will recognize when you are needed by the small promptings in your heart. That you may see a kid sitting alone, or left out and offer words of encouragement, or kindness. Invite them to sit with you at lunch. Play with them at recess. Whatever you can do to put some sunlight in their lives or a smile on their face.

Your dad and I don’t care if you become the star basketball/soccer player, or get straight A’s, but we hope hope that you become to recognize your place on earth, make it better for those around you, and love all of Gods children. Each of you are unique individuals with specific purposes here on earth, with talents and gifts all to your own, but the one thing we want most of all is for you to know your loved- more than you can ever know. FIRST by your Heavenly Father, and SECOND by us. We have been given you to our care to raise and teach and guide you but only temporarily. You will soon grow into men with families of your own.

May you all learn to see the good in those around you, seek to help those in need and be compassionate when called to be-knowing Gods promptings for what they are…and act on them.

I love you all more than you will ever know….be good boys…..

Love,

Mom

Happy birthday Tristan!

Tristans bday streched out over several days...i think 5 was the best one yet for this one....spoiled rotten I say! ;)
Family party Sat and lots and lots of great presents that felt like Christmas for him....but in our opinion -TINK is the best present ever!  His own little kitty that hopefully will be with us for a long time.  She has a few eye issues which we are going to check out tomorrow- crossing my fingers they will be okay.

Tristan wanted a spider cake and I did my best-- stay tuned for more pictures of his happy happy day!

Thoughts today

Todays thoughts:

 

If we could be guaranteed a baby free of colic, that was healthy-that would be a good sleeper….id do this again.  If I could be guaranteed a pregnancy free of horrible mood swings, morning sickness and overall misery I would absolutely do it again…and if I could get my body back I would have several more.  It is not to be.

 

Jett has been such a breeze lately.  Hes a happy baby.  A cuddly baby.  Lets me kiss and hold him and love him up.  I am in heaven.  But the time with him is fleeting and I know within a few months this will pass.  Jonathan and I are doing our best to live in the moment.  Savor every minute and appreciate this time.  With Tristan we wanted time to speed up.  To get us through the most difficult times in our life and marriage.  We hoped that he would grow up quickly and move through each stage that left us overwhelemed and exhausted as parents.  The never ending screaming, and sleep that didn’t come.  The tantrums and inability to be in the car – EVER.  No kisses, no cuddles, fiercely independent and no need for me specifically.  There did come a time around 3 years old that at night right before bed, or first thing in the morning he would come lay with me.  I remember holding him so grateful I had that minute with him before he would bolt back up and run away.  He turns 5 this week.  I am struggling so much with my boy.  My big beautiful little boy.  Who hasn’t much need for a mom these days…dad serves him well.  His clumsy, however coordinated, adventurous, loud, curious and live without fear attitude little boy.  5 years old!  Learning to read, obsession with Halloween( that we cant redirect however much we try) binders full of hundreds of scary pictures, legos, trash packs, star wars, MONEY, sugar addiction,( that we have to be on top of ),scooter riding, container loving, going going going every minute of every day till he drops at the end of the night, little boy.  Little man who fights me to get dressed, brush teeth and hair UNLESS he gets paid ( and at the moment a penny will do) sleeps with as many pillows and stuffed animals he can fit on the bed, thinks BOB is his personal baby to be carried and held, has the biggest blue eyes and dares you to staring contests which he wins most of the time.  Friends are of utmost importance, as well as nightly show watching and video game playing with dad, hands in pants pockets when hes nervous or unsure, and snack time is anytime.  This is our boy who we love so very much, that we worry about, pray about, adore.  Tristan is turning 5.  I want to rewind the clock.  Go back to the beginning…tell that 31 year old mother that this one needs you, sooo much more than you know, and he will sleep through the night, he will eventually be able to take a car ride without screaming the entire time, and that he will grow up way too fast. 

Life lately....

School Spirit

Im not really sure what is going on with blogger- GRR this format keeps happening regardless of my changing it...:(
ANYWAY Elijiahs school has an annual race on St. Patricks Day( or as close as possible) its quite a fun race and I love being a part of a great school community and doing something as a family.  We just signed the kids up for the 2 mile fun run- Elijiah came in first- we came in last...something about Tristan wanting to walk and us carrying Jett as it was COLD and he didnt want to stay in the stroller....
In all it was a nice change to the normal hustle and bustle saturday.

Next weekend we will be going to ID for basketball Tournament.  Soccer has started, and its again super busy in the Bechtold household.  Jett has got a pretty good sleeping schedule down.  His daytime naps are very inconsistant, but he goes down everynight around 6- sleeps 8-10 hours then back down till around 6am.  So we are loving life...no more every 3-4 hours for us.  Hes getting SOOOO big....6 month clothes he is outgrown mostly so hes in 9 month old stuff now.  Hes super long and for the most part a very happy happy baby.  Tristan has shown great progress on his reading and is making leaps and bounds with his numbers and writing skills. 

March Madness begins..

We are deep into the basement remodel...so much construction work is happening but I love seeing progress. Our goal, get it done soon, and keep the project flow going much of the year. I am tired of seeing the work that surrounds this house...I want it finished...ALL in good time I know. March is the beginning of busy for us...basketball and soccer are overlapping, work, school schedules- but Im looking forward ( who isnt?) to the change of weather. Warm sun and longer days. Jett is sleeping well...typically goes down between 6-7 at night so we see very little of him during the week. Again not something I am going to focus on...but its killing me thinking about it. We are doing our best to make every moment count on the weekends for sure. My last little one...please dont grow up too fast.Xo your mamma.

Photo Dump

Ive been back to work now 2 weeks. Its been very hard leaving my littles. They are with Grandma and while Im endlessly grateful for that situation, I cried the first day leaving them. After that I resolved to not think too much about it and live in the moment. Jonathan and my good friends are at work, and my children are with their grandma. They are fine. I am fine away from them and I am sooo grateful for my job. I have an awesome job. Soooo my coping mechanism really is to not think about it too much during the day. when I have done so I have this incredible sorrow build in my chest, and my anxiety is through the roof! So healthy to not think about it? I dunno- but for me, right now its the best I can do. I am learning a few things about myself too. That I am totally a control freak lol. Im not a casual, carefree have fun person/mother. If things arent in order or chaos is around me I cant get things done. So what I decided to do is to let go more. Not worry about the house..if it gets messy its fine etc. Live in the moment( see the trend here? ) Tonight instead of doing what I would love to do - bath and a good book- i plan on a mini spa date with Elijiah and Tristan. A bit more fun, not focusing on the house that needs attention/ or myself- but the boys. I think its a step in the right direction.