Photo Dump

Ive been back to work now 2 weeks. Its been very hard leaving my littles. They are with Grandma and while Im endlessly grateful for that situation, I cried the first day leaving them. After that I resolved to not think too much about it and live in the moment. Jonathan and my good friends are at work, and my children are with their grandma. They are fine. I am fine away from them and I am sooo grateful for my job. I have an awesome job. Soooo my coping mechanism really is to not think about it too much during the day. when I have done so I have this incredible sorrow build in my chest, and my anxiety is through the roof! So healthy to not think about it? I dunno- but for me, right now its the best I can do. I am learning a few things about myself too. That I am totally a control freak lol. Im not a casual, carefree have fun person/mother. If things arent in order or chaos is around me I cant get things done. So what I decided to do is to let go more. Not worry about the house..if it gets messy its fine etc. Live in the moment( see the trend here? ) Tonight instead of doing what I would love to do - bath and a good book- i plan on a mini spa date with Elijiah and Tristan. A bit more fun, not focusing on the house that needs attention/ or myself- but the boys. I think its a step in the right direction.