October- China

October has been a busy month in the Bechtold household. I had 2 small trips- Vegas for work, and AZ for a girls trip, and Jonathan had a 10 day school trip to China in there as well. I have to admit leading up to Jonathans departure was very stressful for us all. To me juggling everything, working, and worrying about migraines and my Vegas trip was a lot for us to coordinate. Add to the fact that the time difference and only being able to chat for a few minutes a day on skype wasn’t ideal. However in all we got through it and he arrived safely home. I guess. Actually while he did arrive- safely could be debated. I guess there was some significant plane issues which caused for them to have an emergency landing in Japan where he said he was truly praying for his life and if it was the end to hopefully have us know he loved us. SOOOO as you can imagine having him land in Salt Lake that night was a relief 30 hours of (plane)traveling sure isn’t much fun. Absence does make the heart grow fonder and I am here to say that even though it was only 10 days our partnership in all things is evident. Jonathan is really my best friend and having him gone was difficult on many levels. November is coming with many birthdays, events, holidays and before you know it Christmas ekkk! We will be renting out our basement come the new year so we will be adding the basement kitchen in the next couple of weeks and finishing up details to get it rentable. Excited to share the pictures as well when its all done! ( just a couple pics of Jonathans trip and our Girls Trip to AZ- got to see Noel for a second - I was sooo happy :)! )

Soccer- Fall 2013

Soccer- Fall 2013 This fall season has been a doozy. We had elijiah try out for a team in SLC and he didn’t make it. I guess they had a full team, or nearly full team from what we were told and had tryouts for a second team but didn’t get enough players and so in the end he just wasn’t good enough for the first team. While Elijiah is a great defensive player, that is the only position he plays. He doesn’t have the opportunity on his current team to play other positions which is a real disadvantage in situations like this…his skills or lack of in other areas don’t shine. So we decided to continue to play on his competition team in Utah county which is a great team, just a lot of driving. Im not sure when next year rolls around what we will do…the division between the really die hard soccer players has already begun as we can see. Those that play year round. Those kids that eat breath and live soccer, play year round and those that don’t. Elijiah does not. He loves it. Hes very good. But hes also very good at Basketball and plays that and skiis in the winter. He also has shown some Talent for track and field sports. Hes very tall. Hes growing a bit and finding that soccer skills are more for shorter stature kids and hes loosing some of his footing if you will and ground skill wise each year as he gets bigger to those that are more agile. I think he will continue to play competition, but probably not at the elite level some of his teammates are playing with each passing year. Most of the college level, professional level soccer players are not 6’5 lol….and Elijiahs height will continue to be an advantage to him in other sports so we will see how many more years he will play soccer over other sports such as basketball. That being said…his current team while not undefeated like last year, is playing well. They are fun to watch and they continue to improve and they are a great team.

This is Tristans first year in soccer. I wanted to have him wait the extra year to play a team sport and soccer seemed like the logical choice. It’s a good cardio sport. Fun, and hello something that I already knew a lot about. However at the last minute his team didn’t have a parent volunteer to coach so I stepped up and thought it would be fun to do. Boy was I wrong. Tristan has been difficult. He is all over the place, meltdowns in the middle of practice and games and I have another boy who I believe is autistic so between the two of them and the general nature of 5 year olds picking grass, attention spans and really lack of any skill and focus its been a challenge. Its like herding cats. Coaching gymnastics is easier. I think its that there is a level of discipline you can expect even at 5 in a gym….but on the field running after a ball with 8 kids….nah there is none of that. We try to have Jonathan there during the practice and Games when possible to help as I really cant leave the field when the game is going on….Im literally directing the kids and yelling instructions and helping them the entire time. While on one hand I love it, I really do! It’s a huge challenge to have Tristan struggle so much. Ive learned that perhaps team sports is not in Tristans future. He gets very frustrated by loosing( there is no win or loose at this stage yet) or doing poorly, or someone else not playing well etc. Im thinking individual sports such as karate, swimming, tennis etc might be better for him. He hasn’t developed self control that is needed to play team sports and I don’t want to set him up for continued failure, or fighting with others when he does loose control, so we will look into something else going forward. I want for him to have success and develop self esteem and as a parent its important to recognize the strengths and weaknesses in our children and develop their individual talents and I feel this isn’t his strength. Im glad we have tried it tho!  I do think its been a good experience for Tristan hes had a good time despite having me as his coach, and theres been a few fun moments for him im sure! And trust me…in all my years of coaching kids, and being around sports, you can tell which kids are really talented, which kids aren’t, and which kids are forced by their parents who really shouldn’t be there- so I think we will try something else for him next year….. Anyway just a few more weeks and then we are done for the Fall…
( hats off to my incredible father in law Carl for taking these pictures they are so amazing! Thanks Carl!)

 

Goodness these pictures loaded in all sorts of funky order - sorry about that! Jett is 10 months old! Hes still such a great baby.  Not walking up pulling him self to stand...walking around a bit holding on to things.  Hes crawling around a lot and we are watching him carefully.  I thought of the brillant idea of buying one of those huge play yard things...but its not a big hit. He seems to think of it as a prison not a big play land. Such a bummer.  But its a place I can keep him contained when I need to without worrying about him.  Hes not the best napper but hes still sleeping for the most part 6-6 so I cant complain.  Loves his bottle, loves food hes a fairly easy going and happy baby.  :)

 

The last 6 weeks has been a challenge.  We end on and go into another one.  School started and honestly it brought with it some self imposed difficulties ( schedule adjustments- school of course, soccer, for all, homework) but unfor seen health challenges for Jonathan and the master bath remodel.  We do these things probably because I push to have things done...like the saying of "push hard till finish" or keep on keeping on" the idea really of just finish it up we are so close!  But the timing really couldnt have been worse.  6 weeks of every night construction added to our already busy schedule, his travel schedule, soccer 3-4 nights a week, layers upon layers of construction dust on every surface might have taxed us too far.  And we blew our budget.  Not sure how especially since Jonathan did the majority of all the work he could do- demo, paint, install, plumbing- left the tile and cabinetry to the professionals) but we did.  Design decisions and snafus and delays have made this one and the timing incredibly hard on our family.

 

Noel came out for a bit which was super great.  Had a wonderful time.  There really isnt much more to say.  Every day with her is such fun, the boys ate her up and when she leaves as usual the family looses something.  :(  We will always look forward to her coming again.  I feel that there has been some good progress with our relationship of late and Im so grateful  As we continue to work through this adoption situation even all these years later its such a blessing to have her and I be able to have what we have.

 

As a family we did a little 5 k which didnt turn out exactly as planned...Tristan has some anxiety about new situations had developed a bad stomach ache in the process of this event and he had to leave during it which cut it short for us, but up till then we had a good time.  Music was off the hook, lights were really cool...overall just something different for us to do together which is out of the ordinary.  We need to do this more.  Its a ton of effort which the boys hardly appreciate, but I hope in the end memories are made and they can look back and remember we did some fun things together despite the complaints at the time.

 

In the next month I hope things will calm down a bit even tho Jonathan will be spending time in China Ill be in AZ then in Las Vegas, soccer will be winding down and the bathroom will finally be done in a few weeks ( not sure we will have all the details done before all our trips- but I will post pics when its all put together)  Till then know that the Bechtold family continues to live its very crazy life but its a good one.

 

 

 



Shared on Facebook

WOW nothing lately has hit me quite like this question and answer that I read from Facebook the other day.....I had to share on the blog for later reference and inspiration when things are hard....

Question:
Life has not been a picnic for me. It has been mostly full of disappointments and hard knocks. It isn’t turning out anything like the life I had planned. Hence, I experience a lot of jealously and resentment toward others. I’m trying not to be bitter and feel like a failure, but I can’t see I’ve accomplished much and don’t have much to show for all my work, pain and suffering. Not sure what my question is, but I guess I could use some advice to feel better about life?
Answer:
Your question might be: What is the point or purpose of this difficult life? Is there meaning in the painful and often fruitless experiences I’ve had? Is my difficult journey benefiting me in some way? I often quote Viktor Frankl in my articles because his discoveries in the concentration camps during World War II have greatly influenced my philosophies on life. He found that life did have meaning and purpose, even when it consisted of nothing but horrible suffering. He believed that every man must, at some point on his journey, find meaning in his individual experiences, especially the bad ones.
He said, “If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.”
Personally, I believe there is meaning in the difficulties you have experienced, because I believe you are here in this world to do two things. You are here to learn andlove.
I believe this purpose is hard-wired into all of us. We seem to innately know life is about growing, learning, stretching and becoming the best version of ourselves we can become. We also seem to know we are here to love others and help as many people as we can, along our way. (Most people who find a specific mission in life find it around one or both of these two ideas.)
I believe — as part of the learning process here — we must experience many different aspects of the human condition, including suffering, grief, disappointment, joy, happiness and peace to learn what each of these experiences can teach us.
Unfortunately we learn more from the difficult experiences.
Suffering gives us empathy and understanding; shame teaches us compassion; disappointment teaches us to shift, change, adapt and persevere. Miserable, heart-breaking and discouraging situations usually serve us and refine us. I wish it wasn’t so, but it is.
It is important you remember this truth, though — the amount of difficult experiences you get here is not a reflection of your value or your abilities, as much as it is about the specific lessons you were meant to learn.
You must remember that your value is the same as everyone else’s. Every human being on the planet has the same infinite and absolute value, no matter how successful or unsuccessful their life may appear. This means they aren’t better than you just because they accomplished more. They just got signed up for different classes and different lessons than you did.
No one on this planet got signed up for the same classes you got. So you cannot compare your journey or your results with anyone else.
When you say you have nothing to show for your efforts and your life has been a failure, all I hear is you apparently got signed up for some really hard classes. But your results here don’t affect or determine your value.
You are an irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind, divine, amazing human soul. You are basically an irreplaceable diamond, which has the same value no matter its setting or where you find it. If a diamond is thrown in the mud, it still has the same value. If it is thrown in the garbage, it still has the same value. You have the same value no matter where you end up. Do you get this?
Your journey has nothing to do with your value.
Some of us get signed up for harder classes here in the classroom of life than others. I don’t know why things are unfair here, but I believe there is a reason.
I’ve often tried to drop a few of my more miserable classes, but apparently they were required courses because the universe didn’t let me out.
I was not happy about this, but I realized I only had two choices in that situation. I could choose to trust the universe that this difficult path was serving me in some way, focus on the lessons and let the experiences make me better, stronger and more loving, or I could dwell in fear, anger, jealously and bitterness — which would only push other people away and create more negativity in my life.
These are your only two choices when you are stuck in a required class. I highly recommend choosing trust and love.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way,” Frankl said.
He continued, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” I recommend that you work on changing the way you are looking at your life. When you look at it from a new perspective, it may totally change the way you feel. If this is proving difficult, you may want to seek a coach or counselor to help you.
I hope this helps.

Tahoe and end of summer

Its clear that our summer hasn’t gone exactly the way we had hoped. Too much anticipation and planning for our Canada trip in the wait for 2 years. Hours before departure it was cancelled and we had to come up with another plan. We were lucky to have found a family friend with a cabin available and left to enjoy the CA sunshine and beautiful Lake Tahoe. Raegan came and joined us and it was a highlight for me. Having not seen her of the kids for a few years it was wonderful to spend time together. However the mountains of CA didn’t make up for our lost opportunity to return to OUR heaven on earth. The cabin in Canada offers us undeniable relaxation and complete disconnection from the world which we so desperately needed. It wasn’t to be in Tahoe however we made it work. We returned not rested but even more exhausted as Jett was out of his element and hadn’t slept much. A week later and we are still recovering. We got in a few hikes, couple days at the beach and in all I hope a few good memories with cousins for the kids to remember.

Kindergarten starts soon for T. I cant believe for one minute he is starting school. Its been a bit of a roller coaster with that- wishing him anywhere other than where he will go…but we will make it work. Elijiah returns to Lourdes and he continues on his journey and the fall soccer season and activities have begun. I will be coaching Tristans soccer team this year as no other parent offered up their time, so I will be especially busy for the next two months. Jonathan starts his final semester of his MBA program. He has a 10 day trip to China in October planned and work is hell. Not sure how we continue to cope with the endless stress of our lives, but I suppose that is life. You cant quit work, school or activities so we keep plugging along. Jett is fast becoming more vocal about his likes and dislikes, and is on the move. As with any mobile infant you have to keep them contained or an eye on them every second and he is a bundle of trouble. His sleeping has taken on a less reliable pattern. We are never sure if he really is down for the night these days. He will often either sit up or stand and make his funny whining noise and flap his hands like a little bird. Regardless of being tired its not till you reposition him to sleep will he lay down. Hes an easy baby if you know what he wants and needs as hes not necessarily a content child, but happy one overall.

Masterbath renovation has begun and we should be receiving our custom cabinets next week. Im really excited to have this last project for now be almost done. Well not done, but in the works. My home, our home is feeling like me now. I look around and still have a list a mile long, but I come home and feel good about the space we are in and I am happier in that home now more than in the last 2 years. It still feels like the place we need to stay, and hopefully the house we are raising our children in.

The last bit of unrelated news is that Noel will be coming out again in Sept we cant wait to see her. We miss her soooo much. However lots of stuff with that and its been a difficult time in our adoption journey and processing everything with it. She and I have both had and still have a crisis of sorts and we are working through the difficult emotions adoptions place on relationships. I only mention that here to serve as notice….from the outside our adoption situation has been ideal, but not without challenges on the inside.